Loss of My Daughter

My youngest daughter died suddenly on the 28th August this year, aged 20*. She had a wonderful job and so many plans for her future.
Our Amy had been out with her friends that evening and felt sick, so my eldest daughter Katie took her home and put Amy to bed. Amy fell asleep, and when Katie checked on her later, Amy was unresponsive. Katie called 999 and followed the operator’s instructions, but she couldn’t revive her sister. The paramedics arrived very quickly, and they tried everything, but Amy was gone.
It’s her birthday next Month, and I know it’s going to be a difficult day. Most days are hard to get through, I find my work keeps me going.

*We won’t find out how Amy died until January 2023.

Since this happened, my eldest daughter Katie has come home to live with me and her Dad.

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Hello Jack27

So very sorry for your loss. So sad especially as your daughter was so young.

I also lost my beautiful 33 year old daughter Charlene on 17 Dec last year. Found her in bed, she was recovering 2 years down from Guillaine Barre Syndrome, she had to use a walker and was in lots of pain daily, she overdosed on her medication. Its her and her twin sisters birthday on 1st December so its a treble blow of sadness, birthday, death anniversary and Christmas. She also left a son of 10 who lives with her sister.
I don’t know how I managed to go on living this year, well, I have my daughter, grandson and a son who also has 2 children so they have kept me going but its been the hardest year of my life. I split with my husband also last year so have felt alone.
I know my daughter has gone to heaven and that gives me comfort. I have been lucky enough to have so many signs from her. I know she is free and out of all pain. It’s us left behind that have to suffer the pain and missing her so much has been hardest.
Next month will be tough but then everyday is to be honest. I only see immediate family now, not seen any friends. I had to get a job and its been a godsend not knowing anyone there other than my son and daughter, its just easier as I don’t have to talk about her then, so I can stay strong at work.
Grief has been strange and not what I expected. As a mother I expected that I would have a melt down of screaming and crying uncontrollably, but instead its been like a silent killer, I have had tears of course but its like I have taken the grief in and its eating me away from the inside, I feel like I am still waiting for the Avalanche.
Wishing you all love and peace x

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Sorry for loss too. We are not alone in our suffering, there’s loads of people in the same boat as us.

Following Amy’s death, I kept seeing white feathers at my work and at home. I wouldn’t usually believe in such things but I am this time.
I keep seeing girls who look just like her in our town.

I have bad days sometimes, luckily these happen on my days off, and I get lots of comfort from our dear beagle and hugs from either my husband or daughter.

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