Loss of my disabled daughter

Hiya, first time posting, I’m a new member, my name is Dianne. I’m trying to find someone who has gone or going through a similar position has myself.

My daughter passed away on the 25/01/20. She was Down Syndrome 36 and lived with me all her life, she didn’t grow up and leave home. We did everything together. I cared for her 24/7, 7 day’s a week, whenever she needed anything it was mum she called for. I’m struggling with the fact that I can’t process her not being here with me.

I feel so lost, alone and just want her back. :sob::broken_heart: People tell me I’m strong!! Well believe I really, really don’t feel it. I’m struggling writing this, so excuse me if it’s jumbled up.

Every day I wake up, most day’s I don’t want to get out of bed, because I haven’t got Tammy (my daughter’s name) here with me. I just feel no one get’s where my head is at because they haven’t been through what I’m going through. Looking after someone for 36 year’s and then having it snatched away is soul destroying. She was my world and more. I could go on and on about her. Most day’s I don’t even want to be here, my partner gives me my medication daily because he’s frightened I might take an overdose. I just feel a broken empty mess :sob::broken_heart::sob: and don’t know which way to to turn. I’ve attached a photo of Tammy also.

I also want to say in between the loss of Tammy. My Uncle passed away, also my best friend. Even tho I’m finding them passing away hard. Tammy’s death has hit me the hardest. I just feel it’s destroyed me. :sob::sob::sob:

Anyway to anyone reading this thank you and hope I’ve made some sense.

1 Like

Hi Dianne2,

I’m so sorry to hear that your daughter passed away. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed.

It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

    • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
    • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
    • If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

You deserve care and support so please, get in touch with one of these services.

Take care,


I cant begin to immagine how your feeling you and your daughter Tammy were so close and had a unique bond.l lost my only child in May this year to cancer.and l feellike lm drowned in a sea of loss

Hiya, I’m soooo sorry to hear of your loss. I’ve just joined a group on Facebook. (That’s if you do social media). Everyone who is on there are amazing, they are the same. Let me know if you would like to join and I’ll send you the link to it. They have helped me load’s and I’ve only been there a few day’s.

I too feel like you!!! Tammy was my world and more. I am just lost and broken without her. Sending healing vibes to you too x