I lost my grandma in May of 2025. She was my absolute world. My bestest friend. Loosing her has been one of the toughest challenges I’ve had to deal with in my life. Still to this day, I’m crying myself to sleep or small random things are making me think about her daily. Some things that I wouldn’t have even thought about whilst she was here. Life treat her badly in terms of how it came to the end of her life, it was a shock to all of us. But I’m struggling accepting it. I’m struggling to understand everything. And worst of all I get constant flashbacks of seeing her laid in that hospital bed taking her final breath. I don’t know how to not necessarily move on, but help myself and help myself get out of my head as much as I am. My patience is wearing so thin. I’m not enjoying things I used to enjoy. I just feel like I’m loosing hope for everything.
Thank you for so bravely sharing this with the community. I’m so sorry to hear about your grandma. It sounds like you had a really special bond with her, and it’s completely understandable that you’re struggling to accept her loss, especially if it was a shock to you and your family. I’m also sorry that it feels like you’re losing hope in everything.
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Many of our members have experienced the death of their grandparent and will understand some of what you’re going through. I’m not sure if you’ve read through our Losing a grandparent category. But there you will find lots of conversations from other members who are coping with their grief. You may find some comfort in knowing you are not alone.
You may also find these Sue Ryder resources helpful right now.
As you mention in your profile that you’re in you twenties, you might also want to check out Let’s Talk About Loss. They run peer-led groups for 18 - 35 year olds. You can find your local group on their website:
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support too. Keep reaching out and take care
