I am currently coping with the loss of my grandma and it is hitting me hard. I feel so heartbroken and empty and I am suffering immensely from PTSD. I was there when we lost her and the moment is replaying in my head from start to finish several times a day and I feel so numb and hurt. I have a newborn and she adored him and the thought of her missing him grow up after seeing how excited she was for her future with him breaks my heart more. I’m in a daze where everybody looks pale to me because of the last sight of my grandma where she was pale and struggling for breath. I’m scared to be in any room alone as I feel empty yet overwhelmed. I miss her more than anything and can’t cope not knowing if she is now ok or looking over us knowing how loved she was.
I too am suffering PTSD from the loss of my mum. She was hit by a car and I drove through to where lives and saw the ambulance in darkness, all the police and had to be walked to my mum and dad’s house just 3 or 4 minutes away. The boy driving the car is 19 and was speeding so we have to wait for word from Police if he’s even been charged or not.
I don’t know if it helps but I try to make a conscious effort to distract myself when thinking about it. I have 2 boys to support and so I turn my thoughts to them.
I want to get to a place where I can be happy in my memories but like you have overwhelming thoughts about what happened.
I sleep for 4/5 hours a day because the thoughts are always worse in morning and at night.
Don’t think this is a lot of help but just to let you know I’m thinking of you and am in a similar boat.