Hello, I lost my husband 2 weeks ago suddenly and his funeral was on Friday. I really don’t know what to do, I’ve never felt pain like this, it’s unbearable. My whole life was with him and our family. I’m 49 years old and we had our life set out, now I feel I can’t go on without him but I have to keep it together as our youngest is only 17.
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When my auntie Gina lost her husband at 80 it was so sad. When I lost my husband I turned to her for advice. She said there will be tears but people will understand. You let yourself cry when you are at home but don’t forget to let others in. Kiss his photo every night and tell him you love him and tell him about your day. You will then feel close to him. I am always on the forum if you need to talk. There a very nice lot on here and we all understand what you are going through. The loss is devastating. Our lives have changed in an instant. Our hopes and dreams shattered We will survive and learn to live with our grief. Xx
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Hi to you both, do what Nel says, it just what I do and even my cat understands that I am talking to my soulmate mate and not her. Each morning I say ‘good morning’ and tell him what I have planned or how I feel. Tina, take your time, there is no rush and it will take time to get use to the new way of life and it will hard, I can’t deny that fact. It hurts and it’s hard but honestly we do get used to it or learn to live with it, not easy. Please both of you take care and look after yourselves. S xx
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I am so sorry that you have need of this forum. My husband went out for his evening run, collapsed and died. Me and my sone went to look for him but we were too late. We never got to say goodbye. My son was 19. I know how hard it is. To start with you will need to take it breath by breath. Talk to your GP if you’re not sleeping and you can always sign up for counselling. You can contact the DWP to get a one off payment and an amount per month for a short time to help with costs. I found refugeingrief.com a useful site as it’s written by someone who lost her partner young and suddenly. Keep posting on here - people will support you. Take care
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Dear Tina53
I am so very sorry for your loss, I understand how you are feeling.
My husband died very suddenly in August, he was 48 and we have 2 children 17 and 14. You are still in shock, to be honest I am still in shock these months later.
I do talk to him often, and my mother in law suggested I keep a diary and I write in it every night, it is like a letter really, each night addressed to him, I tell him about my day, how I am feeling and it has been very helpful. I concentrate on our kids and thats what gets me up each morning. I had some counselling with Sue Ryder, which did help, to have someone not connected, to talk to. But it’s just a moment to moment, one tiny step at a time. Do you have support around you? Lean on them, and this group is fantastic, keep posting, take care Natasha x
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Your aunt Gina was a wise women thankyou lv annie x x
Thank you, I have lots of support from family and friends but I feel awful that I just want my husband back. He was the rock of the family and did absolutely everything for us. The thought of my life carrying on without him is unbearable. I still speak to him along with our 17 year old but I’m really struggling.
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