My husband passed away very suddenly last week at only age 50 after a short illness. I never thought in a million years that I would be a widow in my 40’s. We had so many plans. I just feel so sad that these things will never happen. I feel overwhelmed with the things I need to sort out.
I have lots of friends who are supportive, but it’s not the same. I miss telling him things, and just chatting about things. I’m feeling exhausted.
Im so sorry or your loss, i lost my husband in Jan23 he died in his sleep he was 43, its been 100 days today feels like yesterday. As time is going its getting harder and harder i just keep expecting him to walk through the door.i am 43 and i too never ever expected to become a widow so young and a single parent. Im just petrified of all the responsibility i have now
Hi. So sorry this has happened to you. I’m 6 weeks in this club we never wanted to join. There are no solutions but the support on this site at least helps you to know you are not alone in this terrible situation. Try not to think about the future, just focus on getting through each day. It’s very painful and exhausting and you will probably look back in a few weeks a realise the first week or so is pure shock. I wish I could give you positive solutions but all I can say is you are amongst supportive friends here as we help each other get through each day into a hopefully brighter place one day in the future.
I’m sorry for both your losses. My partner died Jan 23 at 49. Sudden and unexpected it was quite a shock. @Cwull2906 it is very early days for you and shock and worry of it all will be very raw.
It is the cruelest of worlds and the road is painful. Take small steps. Don’t think too far ahead. Take it slow minute by minute, hour by hour. It will get easier but you have to walk through it slowly. Thinking of you both.
Its so hard not to overthink, i try to not think about the future but my brain is in overdrive , plus not having him has made me so anxious and panicky. He was my comforter i married him aged 17 he was 18. Ive only known him all my adult life. Now i find myself floating without direction without purpose. Alone in pain sad confused wanting the one person who could make it better , wanting the impossible
I know that feeling well. It’s not going to be easy. I found that dealing with his death has been the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with. There’s is nothing that can be worse than this so everything else is insignificant inn the grand scheme of things.
I hope soon you’ll have better days, days with less tears and more hopeful moments.
…just try and think how you will get thought the next day…no more…if you do that …do it again…do not think longer term…even by a day …I am 3 months in…and still doing that…many more people on here are longer in…and still doing that…be kind to yourself in this new existence…I so feel for you xx
@UnityMan you sum it up completely!
I’m 3 months in too and have learnt that coping one day at a time is the best way I can cope with all of this.
It’s not easy as it’s natural to think about the future. But I now stop myself doing that as it’s too stressful and just focus on the hear and now.
So true i am taking it hour y hour at times , its the only way i can survive
im so sorry to for your loss all of you my husband died on 23rd dec 2017 it was sudden he had a heart attack and had already had one in the past and we didnt no he was 63 and i was 50 it was made worse as he was working away at the time and he died alone up until he went away we never spent a day apart in 23 years he was my best friend sole mate my reason for living i have 3 grown up children and a granddaughter as bad as it sounds its not enough i just want him back i just take it one day at a time some days hour by hour i still go to ring him sometimes to tell him whats happened it dont get easier you just learn to live with it xxx
I lost my husband a week today. 57. As you say never expected this. I miss everything. Friends are amazing. And please take help from them. I have mine, where normally Simon and I would do things ourselves. I have found walking helps. Just get out the house. And cry. I cry a lot. Hugs
same as me and john we did everything together i miss him always his family diowned us after he died as his father didnt like how i did the funeral or the rest home he was in his mum died 2 years before john she was my best friend and i lost my grandson 3months later so its be a rough few years for all of us xx
So sorry to hear everyone has lost their partners.
I lost my husband a week before Christmas suddenly. He was 53 and we just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. I went to work on the Saturday and got a phone call from my son on the Sunday to say dad had collapsed and time I got home he was gone. No closure and no answers. I found my Christmas presents in the back room unwrapped and a Christmas card saying to my beautiful wife which hadn’t been written in. I have now framed the card. All our future plans and dreams have gone. Hating this new life and wish I could have my old life back where I was so happy. Life is so unfair and cruel. Every morning I wake up and cry. I just can’t believe this has happened and shout out loud come back John. My husband was so loud, generous and affectionate. Miss him so much. We could of had another 25/30 years together
Big hugs everyone xx
no time is a good time to lose anyone but just before xmas seems worse some how xmas has never been the same for me since i go through the motions for my kids and more so my granddaughter i also want my old life back i still get so angry with him for leaving me and yes life is so cruel and unfair i even find myself thinking why did it have to be him why not you and thats awful but grief is a very strange thing sending hugs to you and im sorry for your loss xxx
I keep begging him to come back. I arranged his funeral today. I was fine till I had to chose the music. I knew what he wanted as we have always said when a record comes on. But did not expect to be doing it so soon. His clothes are now starting to lose their smell of him.
Yes any time is terrible but Christmas will never ever be the same again. I had wrapped up my husband Christmas presents and was excited for him to open them. It was so painful opening his presents which took weeks.
I often see elderly people struggling in Tesco and often feel why are you still here and my lovely husband has gone. Bitter I know.
Take care xx
i tied his clothes in a bag to try and keep the smell of him i had no idea what music he wanted so i hope i did him proud arranging the funeral was the hardest thing i have ever done i had no clue what i was doing if it wasnt for the funeral directors i dont no what i would have done they were amazing everything was a daze for weeks after
I know it is so terribly sad. Just wonder why and why did my husband have to lose his life so young missing his milestones in life. He was such a hardworking man. He had a nasty fall 20 months previously and smash his elbow to pieces. Nearly died then. Felt like they had to come back and got him this time.
Hope the funeral goes well as it can. It will be a hard day for you. Take care and big hugs xx
it was made worse my granddaughter was 8 months old so he missed her first xmas birthday my youngest son turned 18 in the may and my daughter was 21 in the august i agree they were both so young its a true saying only the best die young take care of yourself and dont let anyone tell you how long to grieve everyone grieves different some people get over it quickly others never do
Thank you Helen for your kind words xx