I’m struggling and not coping well with losing my husband last month, I’m 43, it was unexpected. I didn’t reach the hospital in time and it’s torture everyday dealing with this, going round in circles in my head. Has this happened to anyone else? How are you coping?
I’m also under pressure to make some decisions that have a long-term impact on my future, yet I’m lost right now and I’m scared of making any decisions.
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Im so sorry youve had to join this forum. I lost my hubby suddenly and unexpectedly in oct 2022, he was only 47, im 48. Its very early days for you, i hope you have lots of support around you, my mother in law was amazing and basically moved in with me for 2 months.
I was told try not to make any big decisions for 12 months, is there any way you can delay.
This site has been a lifesaver, keep talking to us, sending love xx
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Sorry for yr loss my hubby passed nov 2022 vert raw everyday I hate coming bk to a empty house and not seein him sittin in his chair I stare at everyday like most of us do on here I bet I’m in a 3 bed house it’s too big so I’m in the process of buyin another when things go through and down sizing this as kept me busy but most days are very hard like today no sleep last night thinkin of him so today feelin rough
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Lost of my husband Sept 22, we had been together 57 years and married 54 years. Still struggling to get through each day and doesn’t seem to get any easier. Was going to sell up and buy a smaller property but my son persuaded me to leave it a year before making any big decisions. I am so pleased I didn’t make any changes because we had been so happy in our home for 42 years and have lots of lovely memories here.
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I lost my husband six months ago. We done everything together and the pain is unbearable at times… the silence in the house drives me crazy so i just talk to him all the time … im not coping well right now but i dont want to be a burden to my family. His death has been such a shock to me … so unexpected he was only 47.
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Hi Sarah i lost my husband who id been with for 40 year’s just over 2 years ago. We did everything together too. He was the fittest person you could imagine so was a huge shock. Its still hard and i struggle to get out and meet new people. I like you don’t want to be a burden on family - please get in touch if you want to offload or rant without feeling like a burden xx
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Thanks … im struggling so much and cant stop crying … my heart is just broken 
. Its just good to talk to somebody who knows how im feeling.
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Sarah i know exactly how you feel its so hard to see a way forward. Ive got family and friends but all are couples so its difficult for them to understand
Im here for you if you want to talk xx
Thanks… im having a bad night tonight… its hard to even talk about him without crying and so feel stupid… i sit hear talking to him and im so angry with him for leaving me … how do people get through this pain it’s unbearable isnt it…
Hi sarah i did exactly the same through my tears i was cursing my hubby for leaving me I then felt guilty as he tried so hard not to go and let cancer defeat him. I still wish it was me not him. All i can say is we had a love so many dont experience and wont ever have. Trying to convince myself that’s a bonus and try to be grateful for the love we had. That said its sounds good in theory but still doesn’t make sense xxx
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Yes, the hurt is unbearable at times, and hard to stop crying most days. It’s almost 10 months now but still find it so hard most days. I try to keep myself busy with family and friends but as soon as I come back to an empty home the tears start flowing.
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Im the same… the silence screams at you doesn’t it… i try to push myself but most days i dont want to get out of the bed… family try to understand but its my love ive lost and its so hard.
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@Butterflies12 I’m so sorry for your loss . I lost my partner last month it will be 6 weeks ago this Saturday. I came down to find him collapsed on the kitchen floor unconscious . He had a massive bleed on the brain and never recovered. I like you never got to say goodbye and it’s torture and it is the hardest thing in the world to accept . I pray he knew how much I loved him . We have a 6 year old and he was a fantastic step dad to my 13 and 15 year old who miss him terribly . I have already had to cope with our son’s 6 th birthday and Father’s Day in that time . I mourn the loss of the future with him. Some days I manage by cleaning the house and setting goals to do so many things each day and then I allow myself set time to look at pictures, listen to voice messages so it doesn’t consume my every hour . It hit me like a bus that he’s not coming back tonight and I sobbed. I have like you felt angry he left me then I feel guilty as he would never had wanted to go . I do get comfort he suffered no pain . I’m returning to work phased next week and I’m scared it will be too much but hope it helps me try and focus on something to ease the pain xx
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Oh god luv …im so sorry…you must be going through so much its hard to even imagine… i know loss but your caring for your children too. I wish i could give you some kind of advice but i don’t even know how to respond… im here for you luv if you need to talk any time… night or day just message me… i mean that… xx
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@Sarah39 thank you luv it’s good to know people are here to support .
Hi I lost my husband of 37 years married. I,m 81 & disabled.
Do nothing in a hurry as you will regret hasty decisions later.
My lovely man died in Feb 2023.
I was completely lost for quite some time.
He had been ill with pancreatic cancer. so although I miss him
Every day .would not wish him back in that pain.
It is getting slowly better. I chat to him every day & pray for him every night. I hope you will slowly pick up your life again
But it is very hard the weekends are the worst .
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Hi Dandy, I agree, weekends are much harder. I try and keep big jobs, ie cutting the lawns etc for a weekend and as I am 75 with back problems and arthritis it takes a long time but fills the time nicely. I always chat with my husband whilst doing this, mainly telling him he shouldn’t have left me with all this work. I’m sure he can hear me lol
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Thank you titch,
Support is appreciated. I have two Yorkie dogs so am forced to go out every morning to walk them . Can only manage 1/2 HR but al least I,m out . Don’t have any grass to cut but good idea for you. I try to remember all the good times we had rather than the sad ending.
Hoping to go &spread his ashed at a local beauty spot in August with his son. Keep smiling & think positive. You will get through
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I’m so sorry for your loss
My husband passed away in Oct 2022 and i frequently feel as bad as i did in the earlier days of his passing We we’re married for 29 years together 33
Like you I hate coming into an empty house it’s soul destroying and i feel i’ve lost my confidence It was his birthday last week and also our 29th wedding anniversary
My daughters came over and spent the night with me which helped but it’s all these milestones we have to deal with My daughters are married and work full time they have family’s of there own Although they tell me to go to them anytime I feel they have enough to contend without me adding to them
I’m on my own most of the time i’m trying to push myself but it’s sure not easy I just wish i could feel better because i hate being the way I am
I hope you find peace and hopefully we will get through these awful times
Thanks for sharing with me… its sad just thinking about others going through this unbearable pain and loss isnt it… ive just had my jays birthday and i spent the day alone because i couldnt face anyone… and valentine’s day too… even though we had been married over 20 years we still done the cards and flowes … getting through the first of special occasions without him here is so hard 
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