Loss of my husband

I have just finished the first anniversaries of everything as I lost my husband of nearly 50 years in December 2022, no time is ever good but this time of year is worse and even now I don’t feel like carrying on. His death was due to an operation that ended up with him losing his life due to bad aftercare. He was never ill so it was a huge shock when it happened. I am so very lonely as I have never been on my own my whole life and am so frightened also on my own. I cry every morning thinking another whole day without him. As if losing the love of my life wasn’t bad enough I have had a sh*t year with the way I have been treated by “so called family and friends” and trying to sort paperwork has been a nightmare with some companies, one of which I had to fill out an overseas death questionnaire (as I have lived in Cyprus for 16 years) of which they wanted to know all the ins and outs of his death, was it an illness or accident, doctors name and address of hospital, was he buried or cremated, who gave the permission for the burial, names and signatures of 2 people who attended his funeral??? WHY , sitting and having to go through all the memories of that time set me back so much from trying to heal so I sent in a major complaint in August and am still waiting to hear. Day by day little things start you off, music, peoples actions (hugging, kissing, holding hands) knowing I’ll never have that again. People say how well I’ve coped but they only see one face and not the one that is on me 99% of the time. People say the pain gets easier with time but unless you’ve gone through it you really don’t know. I needed support from people who do understand so I put an advert on our local site on Facebook for people like me to meet up and chat (or not chat) to hopefully get some comfort from it and it has done well and I have made some lovely friends through it. Sorry I’ve gone on a bit but if you’re on this site you will understand how I feel. Take care all x


Aw … i am exactly the same. I lost my husband in december 2022 too … :frowning: and family and so called friends - unbelievable in my opinion ! How they fall away and actually dont seem to give a monkies what you are going through !! You said all the words i feel in your first paragraph ! Its all so final and so very hard to deal with i know … but as people say to me … baby steps and i have found that all we can do is take it a day at a time and hope life gets better ;( i have got a puppy, now 12 months and boy if i didnt have her i have no idea what i would do. Take good care. We are all here if you need us x

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Hi Deb. Thank you so much for your message so yes you know know exactly how I am feeling and I am so sorry for you also. Glad you have a dog as I have 2 small ones aged 8 &7 and I don’t know what I’d have done without them. The eldest was a daddy’s boy and he looks lost sometimes and the youngest is my boy and since he lost his dad he barks so much when people come (even though he knows them) it’s as if he feels he is now the alpha male and has to protect his mum but sometimes it can get a bit too much depending on how I’m feeling and I end up screaming at him but I really know I shouldn’t. Both of them have taken to snuggling up my back at night and it is so comforting. I have never been one much for exercise but I have started walking them every morning and it’s nice to get out and meet others doing the same. Thankfully I live in Cyprus so it’s not very often I can’t get out and take them. Once again thank you for your message and you take care too and as they say here siga siga,slowly slowly x