We moved from the south to the north with all the plans on building a new life and spending our retirement together. Then after a delay in a procedure at the hospital we were given the news there was nothing more they could do for him and we were just left to get on with it.
My husband passed away in April 2023 and I still cry each day. He was my best friend and soul mate and I don.t know how to carry on. I dont want to be without him anymore. Each morning when i wake it hits me again that hes not here to enjoy the rest of our lives together. I try to keep busy during the day but its the evenings and mornings that are the hardest. I dont see any point anymore.
I know how you feel. I lost my husband in February 2024. Its still very raw and I cry daily, sometimes more than others.
I really don t want to carry on on my own but what choice do we have.
I miss him terribly and can’t see a time when I won’t. I too find mornings and evenings the hardest. The waking and the realisation hitting again. The going to bed alone, no hugs or goodnight kiss, or I love you.
Take care
Hugs to you
. Thank you both for your replies, its nice to know Iam not the only one that feels this way. We were looking forward to building a business and to an early retirement, touring round GB, but now theres nothing to look forward too. Yes each day is a struggle but as long as I can keep busy until around 7pm I do manage (with a few tears) to get through and I know that my husband would be proud of the things I have achieved that day.
Thats what we have to do now, any achievement is a major step forward.
I dont think I will ever stop crying for him and I know I’ll never stop missing him, but we need little achievements to help us move forward. But it’s so so hard. I too try to keep busy, but he’s never out of my thoughts.
I know how you feel and it’s almost 2 yrs since the loss of my husband of almost 52 yrs. I used to think of every day as being another day to endure and couldn’t wait for it to end so I could go to bed and have yet another good cry. I still shed tears every morning and evening but it has got a little better, the violent sobbing episodes are much fewer now but then I worry that I might start to enjoy life and that would seem to be very wrong too. We had moved house several times for work, living abroad for many yrs and then back to the UK on retirement. Ended up living outside a village and really not knowing many people locally at all as we kept ourselves to ourselves so it’s a lonely old life now. It will get easier as I’m sure others will tell you. I try to think that he would want me to go out and about, go on holiday, make new friends etc but can’t quite make myself do that yet, maybe one day. Like you I try to keep myself busy during the day and have started reading or doing puzzles on an evening to try to occupy my mind. One thing that has really helped is that I have a couple of notebooks and I write down how I’m feeling in the form of a letter to my husband. I offload all my feelings, have a good cry and then always feel better afterwards. Maybe this might help you too?
we would have been married 35 years last November. Yes i know what you mean about going out I can’t even go to the supermarket without getting upset its only me I am buying for. Not having someone to share a nice sunny day. I will try the notebook and hopefully it will help.
@knspol and @knspol
I feel exactly the same, I did my first big shop last Saturday, or should I say I tried.
I didn’t know what I wanted or if I even wanted anything, it was awful.
I have been writing to Roger ever since the funeral, every day I tell him about my day and a lot about how I’m struggling and how much I miss and love him. I cry a lot but I also get a lot of comfort from it, its a connection to him, I think I shall do it forever now.
Take care