Loss of my mu.

My mum died suddenly and unexpectedly in May 2024. My emotions have fluctuated between overwhelming sadness and being matter of fact about it. I have also found myself analysing possible reasons for it. She died of a massive heart attack despite no known heart condition where she went to bed and didn’t get up the following morning. I was phoned by a family member and my experience at the hospital was surreal. The hospital carried out various tests and things escalated to a level that Saturday afternoon from being told by the consultant that they thought she may be dying to she is dying. It all happened so fast. I remained with her while she was unconscious persuading her not to die until she died peacefully just before 8pm.

It is now December and I feel as though I have been living two lives, engaging well with work and other activities while still processing my mum’s death. I am the sole inheritor of her house but still haven’t removed many items from it yet. When I visit the house it feels as though a part of her is still alive. My dad who was divorced from my mum has put pressure on me regarding clearing it out and I have stood my ground stating that I can’t cope with the pressure. I don’t plan to keep it as an empty house forever due to costs and various risks. Luckily my partner is understanding of my need for space.

I really miss those conversations with her and still can’t believe it’s happened.

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Hello @Jane28 ,

I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your mum that brings you here.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

I know exactly how you feel. I lost my mum unexpectedly 2 weeks ago. Like you I’m either pretty numb or I’m just a wreck. The thought of never seeing her again absolutely breaks my heart, every time.
I don’t have any answers for you but to take however much time you need. There’s no timescale for grief, no rules, no expectations. You do whatever you need for yourself, and don’t let others pressure you.

Maybe, just maybe we’ll manage to get on with life without our mums.
Take care

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