Loss of my mum

I lost my dear mum suddenly on the 12/08/15, she was 60 years old. After going in to hospital through being unwell she was then diagnosed with bowel cancer which had spread very quickly and she died 2 weeks later. my brother and I were very close to her but as I am the eldest I took on the role of arranging everything as she was single too. Everyone said they can’t believe how strong I am but honestly inside I was in so much pain and still am. I have a very supportive partner and my brother and I are very close however, the pain is sometimes as raw as the day she died and life just isn’t the same without her. We spoke everyday on the phone sometimes about 10 times per day I could tell my mum anything and she would understand I haven’t got that anymore and it’s very hard and today is a day that is harder than ever. I know these feelings will never go away I feel like my mum was taken too early, she had a difficult life and now she’s gone it makes me wonder what’s it all about? I have 2 children and they have been great and I do let it out when I am feeling this way. This morning I woke up and the tears were flowing almost immediately so I searched for forums and found this hoping to talk to people in a similar situation as I think it may help me a little to know I’m not on my own with this. I’m sorry if this has come across all over the place but today i am struggling and hopefully can take some solace in talking to other people and also help them feel they are not alone either!
Much love and peace

Hi Sab,

Welcome to the Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your dear mum last year. It sounds as though you were really close and she has left a huge gap in your life.

It’s good to know that you have a supportive partner and children and that you feel you can let your emotions out when you need to. I hope this site can be another good outlet for you. You are right that you are not alone here, and there are others here who have similar experiences and will understand.

Hopefully some of them will get back to you shortly, but, in the meantime, you may wish to read or reply to some other conversations between people who’ve lost a parent. For example, here are some recent ones you could take a look at:


If you have any questions about this site or if there’s anything I can help with, just let me know or email online.community@sueryder.org

Hi sab,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum I understand the awful pain as I lost my mum in may this year and I’m beyond heartbroken. We were so close lived together and like two peas in a pod. I nursed her intensely which was heartbreaking to see her deteriating and suffering I said to my mum I would swap places with you in a secound if I could I would take her suffering from her in a heartbeat. I miss her so much it physically hurts aches every day every hour is a constant struggle and battle. It can get so overwhelming that I just want to go and be with her. Like your mum she was only 60 so I feel so robbed of having a mum it makes me so angry . Life is so cruel and unfair. Sometimes I am in denial as if she is on holiday or something I think it’s just how the mind copes with things that are too much but then when it hits it just kills me with pain and I get so low and scared and feel so alone it’s horrible. That’s why I wanted to write back to your post as I know what it feels like to feel alone with losing your mum.i just can’t see a future without mum and I get haunted by horrible sad memory’s. And waking up when for a few secounds you think mums still here and it was just a nightmare those times are awful I don’t know if you ever get that? My mum was my world and I just feel so low. If you want to ever post chat then please do I will reply if it helps just to get things off your chest.
Please excuse grammar spelling mistakes I’m dyslexic and a tired low mind!
Hug sent xx