Loss of my Mum

Losing a parent
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It has been 9 months now since losing my Mum. I feel I am yearning to talk with her, see her and just be with her again. I thought I was doing quite well , but now I am feeling the loss big time.
I get emotional and down thinking about it all. I wish she was here.

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Hello @DeeDee12, thank you for reaching out. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. Sadly, many of our members have lost their mum and will understand some of what you are going through. You might want to chat to @Su66 who lost her mum 3 months ago and just posted this thread: Losing my mum

You might also find our support page, “How long does grief last?” helpful to read. It shows that there is no timeline to grieving and you may find it comforting to know that how you are feeling is normal.

Hopefully someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to share these links with you.

Take care - you are not alone.

Seaneen

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Hi DeeDee12,
It’s 10mths for me and I feel the same.
Miss my mum with all my heart and would give anything to see her just one more time. It hurts so much. I think of her every day and just wish I could see her.
Going through this is such a struggle
Thinking of you
Deborah x

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Hi Deborah, I lost my Dad 24 years ago and that broke my heart, losing mum though has made me feel totally alone .
My Mum was so loving and caring ,we were very close , I keep going over the days leading up to and the heart breaking day that she passed away. My brain doesn’t want to accept it. It is such a hard time .
Im sorry about your Mum , it is truly one of lifes chapters that completely turns your life upside down.

Regards
Dee

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@DeeDee12 I’m in the same place as you. Nine months along the road of a life without my Mum. I’ve had a difficult week and the grief has been triggered for me all over the place. Even a shopping trip to the supermarket led to a few tears and that painful lump in the throat :weary:. I’m stressed by the process of trying to sell my Mum’s house too so that hasn’t helped, plus dealing with the DWP who are querying her pension credit eligibility. It’s all very distressing at the moment. Love to all in this same awful situation xx

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Hi DeeDee and Rosiepink,

I know how you both feel.
I miss my mum so much too.
I am also in the process of sorting my mums house and its awful. Just heartbreaking and sorting out all the utilities etc
Am here if you need a chat
Deborah x

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Hi Deborah, thats nice, thank you.
Likewise .
Regards
Dee x

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Hi Rosiepink , I get triggered by things I would buy my mum. I know she is with my dad ,that is the only comfort I have.
It is one of the most difficult times in life . If you ever need to chat ,im here too.

Regards
Dee
X

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I lost my mum in a car accident she being laid to rest next week. I’m nit coping at all .

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Hi Michael, I am so sorry to read this. It is very hard , I wrote a poem for my mum’s funeral, I actually read it in front of the congregation (which i didnt think
I would have been able to do). It will be a time of shock, disbelief and questioning why.
Im just a message away if you want a chat.
Dee

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Hi deedee12 I’m not going as my mental health is not good. The doctor has gave me extra sleeping tablets as I’m only getting 4 hours sleep. My sister is not happy . But Iam thinking of my health. My mum would not want me to struggle. I feel that I am letting my mum down . Just don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I have Ben getting more panic attacks

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I miss my mum so much too :broken_heart: It hasn’t every been 2 months for me. I will need to sell her house and go through all her stuff too, have had to apply for probate which I’m waiting to hear back from. Any advice on how to deal with going through all that while struggling with the grief is welcome :disappointed:

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Hi @Woo4 to be honest, it’s just so hard. I’m literally going through the motions of everyday life, hanging onto the notion that at some point this awful stage will be over. I think you almost tick box the way through all the organisation and administration. I try hard to keep positive, focus on memories filled with love but it can still seem a struggle. Distraction (work, walking, gardening etc) is helpful but I am unsettled by things that need sorting out. It’s helpful to know that others are in similar situations. We just have to keep going… take care xx

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Hi I lost my mum last October. I couldn’t get my head around doing the probate application until late January and it came through 6 weeks later so pretty quickly. I’m an only child and mum made a will so it was straightforward.
I didn’t get around to sorting mum’s house until August as I live abroad. I had 2 weeks to get everything sorted and out of the house!! I was basically in robot mode. It was hard and I still can’t believe I did it, but I kept concentrating on the job to be done otherwise my emotions would have got the better of me. My mantra was mum’s egging me on to get the job done and the house is only bricks and mortar now. If I’d have spaced it out too much it would have been more difficult I think.

It is however heartbreaking to have to go through the process of giving up my beloved family home after 47 years, but without mum there it just didn’t feel the same😞.
Now the house is on the market, not at a great time tbh.
Good luck with everything, take one step at a time and don’t expect too much of yourself right now.x

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Thanks @Rosiepink. Distraction is all I can do now, to try and get a moment away from the pain, but it’s really always still there. I hope everything goes well with the house sale and things stop being so stressful for you. It must be distressing if the DWP are questioning her pension 9 months after your mums passing, I can’t believe they can do that! Hope everything is sorted soon :pleading_face:

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I’m the same @DeeDee12, going through the last days and hours my mum was in hospital and wishing I’d said more and helped more somehow. It was only 2 months ago so still very fresh in my mind. I can’t accept it either, keep thinking she might just walk back through the door. I don’t know how we ever accept losing our mums x

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Thanks @Kate111. I literally can only take one day at a time right now, the future looks so bleak and empty without my mum. I hope the house sale goes OK for you, it sounds so hard but you’ve already done the hardest by sorting it out and putting it on the market x

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Woo4

What I have started doing is writing a journal to my mum. To me it helps a little bit. People say it gets easier. I hope so. I think of mum everyday and I listen to music she enjoyed.

Take care

Fae

Michael

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