Loss of my partner

Hi all this is my first conversation with you I lost my partner Lorraine on June 10th 16 to cancer she was only ill for 8 weeks we had been together for 20 years and tell you the truth I’m not copping at all well the lolniess the empty house the regret just don’t know we’re to start we did everything together and can’t cope with not doing that again just to talk to someone is a good feeling sorry to bother you all thanks paul

Hi Gilly,

Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community and well done on taking that step to make your first post.

I am really sorry to hear that you ave lost your partner Lorraine and about how lonely you are feeling. I’m glad that it feels good to share things - you are among people who will understand here.

You should get some supportive replies soon, but in the meantime, you may find it helpful to check out some other posts from people with similar experiences.

For example, here is a recent conversation between Dave, Janey, vanguard and Nigel, who have lost their partners or wives: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/cant-see-end-my-grieving-losing-my-wife

Feel free to post a reply over there if you would like to talk to them.

If there’s anything I can help with, or you have any questions about this site, just give me a shout.

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Hi gilly ive just seen your post I’m so sorry for your loss I lost my partner of 25 years on 11 th may this year so I know exactly how you feel like yourself Robert and I done everything together the empty house the loliness I can relate to all of the above just try and stay strong and keep yourself occupied to fill up your day I’ve went back to work so that occupies my mind for a while lorraine will be on your mind constantly like Robert is on mine but just take a day at a time I’m here anytime you want a wee chat take care x

Hi janey thanks for your support I will give you a text later on as I’m at work at the moment if that’s ok x

No problem x

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Sincerest Condolences Paul. I lost my wife of 13 years on 1st May this year and i’m still all of sorts and trying to come to terms with it. I know just how lost you are feeling. Have you got a Local Hospice that you could get in touch with ? I attend my local hospice for One to One Bereavement counselling and also a drop in session and i find it a great comfort to go there. Cruise also do Bereavement counselling but there’s a 6 month waiting list for that one. You have done the right thing in coming on here you will find some comforting advice etc.

Hi janey thanks for the reply it’s nice to know there is sombody who knows what it’s like I have started back work about 3 months ago and it’s going well it is the empty house what I can’t get to grips with nobody to tell me off or talk to same when I go shopping shopping for 1 is no good I have got a good supporting family which do my tea for me but I think sometimes I feel like I’m imposing on them I think it does get better so they say but I do really miss me cuddles xx

I know what you mean it’s the emptiness and the loliness it hits you like a ton of bricks I was out last night with one of my friends and I felt weird being out without my Robert I have really good friends they are all keeping in touch with me to go out but I just don’t want to go out much just now I hope your pain eases in time I’m here anytime you need to chat take care xx

Hi Gilly
Have just read your post and just want to say how sorry I am for your loss. It’s a pain that is so harsh it’s very hard to deal with. I lost my wonderful husband Andy 9 months ago to cancer and am still struggling to come to terms with it. We too did everything together, he was my soul mate and best friend. We were both second marriages and had 9 amazing years together. I was so happy and now I’m lost lonely and broken. Sadly all of us on this site understand the pain you are going through so keep talking, it helps to know you are not completely alone.
Take care

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Hi Gilly im very sorry for your loss (57 my wife was 41) have you tried phoning the samaritains (i do ) it makes me feel more like a human being .People in the outside world with rose tinted glasses on dont understand .And talking to the samaritians they never say things like o i thought youd be over this bu know its nearly a year .Do i want to fit in with so called normal people no i dont .I too live alone and comeback to empty house .Heating on full blast its still feels cold and alien . Take each day 1 day at a time .Try and give yourself some me time .And hopefully eat well and get some relaxing sleep (i think the last 1 is the hardest ) All the best keeping coming back Colin

Why are we all in this sad unwanted place ? I don’t understand any of it ! Take care all x

Hi Debbie we are in this unwanted place because our worse nightmare of losing that special person in our lives has died and we cant understand why and how at times we want to go on .Then we think what would our loved one wants us to do .So we try and haul ourselves up whether brief or not to smell and see the wonderful world .The entrance fee to this special club is death of a loved oine and thats the worst entrance fee in the world My thoughts and best wishes are with you all and the new members to come Colin

I can’t cope anymore. It really is a nitemare x

It’s truly awful and I sometimes think I’m losing the plot xx hope you are better tHan me… and every one else out there suffering xxx