I lost my sister 2 weeks ago and the overwhelming feeling of could I have done more to help her is always on my mind …She suffered Heart failure due to fluid retention…I was with her for her last few weeks but on the day She passed I had left 45 mins earlier to go home for my cataract op the next day .
I was on at her to see her GP again but she would not go …should I havd made her …
Hello @Nannyknitsalways ,
I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your sister that brings you here.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
Hello Nannyknitsalways
I think it’s common to feel this way after a bereavement. It’s hard to support everyone all the time, you do your best and you can’t see the future. I’m sorry you feel this way and I see you said you you were with her for her last weeks and you only left early for your own health appointment. Your sister made her own decisions, you can’t often make someone do something they don’t want to do. Please take care of yourself. x
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Hi Nanny
I also lost my sister 2 weeks ok. It was january 31st to be exact. I feel the same as you…the GUILT!! I was not with my sister when she died and that is very painful to me. Im a nurse so of course i would have wanted to be with her and care for her every day of her illness! Her husband would not allowher family to be with her. All you did was go to a doctor appointment to take care of yourself. Theres certainly nothing wrong with that! You also had zero control over whether your sister took care of herself. Adults are expected to take care of their health, no one wlse can do it for them. My sister died from alcoholic cirrhosis and we talked to her about our concerns for many years to no avail.
Im so sorry for your loss dear. I know how much it hurts because im living it, too. You are going through the grieving process and you are having normal feelings. It is not your fault, ok? Love and care for yourself as you work through your grief. Talk to a professional if you need help. You can pm me anytime.