I sadly lost my only son on the 16th January 2023.
The hardest part of loosing him was the fact he was all alone when he passed away and by the time the alarm was raised he had been passed away over 3 weeks.
When i saw him in the funeral directors all i can remember is the smell and it didnt look like him.
My heart is broken 
and i dont know if i will ever get over the loss
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Hello @Sandra1963,
I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your son that brings you here.
There’s a very active and supportive thread for parents who have lost adult children which you may wish to look at. You can find it here:
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support too. You are not alone.
Take care,
Seaneen
Hi
I can totally relate to how you are feeling. My healthy24year old son died in his sleep 3 weeks ago. His partner found him when they returned from work that afternoon. The PM was unassertainable and we are waiting the results of tissue samples. That said the results will not bring him back.
I feel totally bereft. We were incredibly close. Always phoning and messaging each other every day even though we were at different ends of the country. I can’t imagine my life without him. And even though I would never kill myself as it would devastate my family, I also would not care if I died tomorrow as I would be with him again. It would be a release.
I try to keep myself busy around the house but all I can do is think of him and I just cry constantly. And I am so full of anger that this has happened to him. He was an amazing person with so much to live for. He had an amazing career and personal life ahead of him . He wanted to get married and have a family. But he has been cheated out of it all. It is just so unfair.
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I am 24 weeks down the road of losing my eldest son. You will feel all sorts, disbelief, shock, anger, overwhelmed, guilt, probably over think everything as well.
I would say it gets easier but I don’t think it does, my experience is that I feel differently on different days. Sometimes I don’t care what I say, what I wear, sometimes I don’t want to get up out of bed.
My son was found by a friend at his home, paramedics thought he’d been gone up to 48 hrs. We will never know.
A post mortem was inconclusive and 16 weeks later we were told he had ischaemic heart disease. I’ve now started a complaint with the local NHS trust as he’d had some admissions with kidney problems but his heart was never mentioned.
Anyway, it still seems unreal, sometimes a flash of reality and it’s like the first time, a punch to the gut, feeling sick. Tears are never far away. I go day by day, that’s all I can do.
Unfortunately there are a lot of bereaved parents on here, it does help to rant, to share, to see others have similar thoughts and feelings.
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I lost my beautiful son James 9 months ago. It was sudden and unexpected. The knock on my door changed my life forever.
James died from Sudep, sudden death in an adult with epilepsy, a diagnosis we were given only 10 months previously.
James died alone. I pray everyday that he didn’t suffer and I’m haunted every night that he did.
My James was a 6ft4 gentle giant. He was kind and quirky, a beautiful soul who loved a simple life. Behind his massive smile was a huge heart with the capacity to love his people endlessly.
James brightened my world and for that i will be forever grateful. Although James died, he also lived a wonderful life and hes the reason i open the curtains and feel the sun on my face.
James loved and he was so very loved in return.
Im so very sorry for losing your incredible warrior children and send all my love to you xx
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