My son died 22/01/22 heartbreaking as only day I didn’t visit him I was having my hair done now I never want go hairdressers again feel so guilty not going to see him and load dead for 12 hours before I found him how do we cope advise please xx
2 Likes
Jaccci - I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I lost my daughter in January, in a tragic way. I too have often thought why didn’t I go round earlier the day it happened? Could I have saved her life, etc etc. I’m guessing you are feeling a bit like that. I’m trying to pick myself up but, you don’t need me to tell you it’s hard. The only bit of comfort I can find to those questions I torture myself with is ‘no one wanted this to happen’. It’s a tragedy, but no one is to blame. It feels so awful it feels like someone must be to blame. In my case I felt it should be me, cos I’m her mum and it’s my job. We aren’t superhuman and we can’t be there 24/7. I hope you find some comfort coming in here. You will find nice, kind people who are going through loss like yours. It’s helped me a bit and I hope it helps you too. Sending you a hug xxx
2 Likes
Aww thank you I’m struggling have bad nightmare etc I really don’t know how we cope but we have to life is so hard and losing a child is the worst neem to many losses of family etc but not my son
2 Likes
Dear Jacci, we can’t do anything to take away your pain, but all of us on here share it and send you our love and support. Nothing prepares you for the grief and devastation of the loss of a child, it’s like no other pain on earth. We are mums and we feel guilty, we feel we should have been able to prevent it, but we couldn’t, as Nell says we are not superhuman.
Sending you much love, Ann xx
1 Like
I know. It’s like a living nightmare that won’t stop. At first I don’t even know how I kept on breathing, but here I am, keeping on keeping on. It seems like when someone, especially our children, die tragically we as mums or dads, tend to blame ourselves and feel guilty. It’s not our fault tho. On good (well, not so bad) days, I remind myself that I’ve been through enough and I don’t have to beat myself up on top of all the grief and pain… You’ve been through enough and you are probably exhausted emotionally and physically. Don’t know if it’s something that you would be interested in but there’s a charity called Compassionate Friends and they help people who have lost a son or daughter. They sent me lots of leaflets about the powerful emotions that can sweep you away and they also run groups in some parts of the country. The have a Grief Companion scheme too, which you can find out about in their website. They are also very kind and, like on here, they ‘get it’. I hope you get some sleep tonight and in the coming weeks and months you find some peace and some time to look after yourself when you are going through so much. Xxx
2 Likes
Just wanted to share an experience I had today. I was outside standing and one of my male coworkers came up to me and he said you look sad today why are you sad I said my son died and that’s not something you get over easily and Sunday June 12th will be his birthday. Then he says oh I’m sorry I’m so sorry. Then he says how about them Yankees trying to change the subject and make me laugh. I get so tired of explaining grief to people.
2 Likes