2 and a half weeks ago my youngest son was killed by a speeding driver i feel its a bad dream and cant face the reality, his funeral is not until 26th of this month , is it normal to feel like this im afraid i will have a breakdown as i am numb and cant let my grief out
Hi Mummra
So sorry for your loss.
Itās normal to feel the feelings you have, on top of that you must be in a terrible shock at this dreadful news. I lost my daughter 4 months ago (to illness) and am still going through the motions of disbelief, anger, sadness, wanting to scream and one or two minutes of acceptance. The feelings come and go in waves, never in the same order and in different āstrengthsā. I cannot take away your sadness but just giving you a big hug. You are in the right place, here, for understanding with all the other lovely people who are in the same club that no one wants. x
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I am so so sorry, I lost my darling boy a week and a half ago, he collapsed and we will have no answers for a long time , if everā¦ He was 15. The shock and disbelief and total desperation is overwhelmingā¦ I have no words of comfort right now for you except I totally understand how you are feelingā¦ Please please be kind to yourself and accept any help you can, I canāt seem to be near anyone at the moment and I know that isnāt helping but I canāt put my pain onto anyone else. Sending so much love to you. Xxx
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Than[quote=āLouise311, post:2, topic:95256, full:trueā]
Hi Mummra
So sorry for your loss.
Itās normal to feel the feelings you have, on top of that you must be in a terrible shock at this dreadful news. I lost my daughter 4 months ago (to illness) and am still going through the motions of disbelief, anger, sadness, wanting to scream and one or two minutes of acceptance. The feelings come and go in waves, never in the same order and in different āstrengthsā. I cannot take away your sadness but just giving you a big hug. You are in the right place, here, for understanding with all the other lovely people who are in the same club that no one wants. x
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Hi louise thank
you for your kind words, at the moment i feel i will never enjoy anything again
So sorry for your loss i too cant be around people i just want to lock myself away , as i cant cope with their grief ontop of my own , its a nightmare i feel will never end
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Hello @Mummra ,
Iām part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - Iād like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. Iām so sorry to hear about your son. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
You may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
You might also want to read our āGrieving for a childā article where you will find advice and support on how to cope.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing ā please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Abi
Thank you , i just cant seem to function at all just sit with my own thoughts , is it normal to dread his upcoming funeral i dont want to see others grieving as he was my precious son and i nener realised how dreadful this pain would be
I too am dreading the funeral though we may have something private for close family and set up some sort of memorial fund in his memory ā¦ As his friends are school age I canāt bear putting them through a funeral service and they have already come together to support each otherā¦ We all have our own journey and your beautiful boy will always be your precious son , that will never ever change. Much loveā¦ Xx
I would like a small one myself but unfortunately its not just my choice , thinking of you such a young boy for you to lose xxx
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Yes it is normal and Iām so sorry for your loss. I lost my son nearly three months ago and the pain is unbearable. Iām sending you lots of love x
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I lost my adult son in March this year suddenly and unexpectedly. I too dreaded the funeral but when the day came, it was actually much better than I had anticipated. A lot of his friends attended, and some of my friends who had known him. The celebrant gave a lovely picture of his life, and there was definitely some humour in there too. We all spent a lovely afternoon together sharing stories and memories, some of which were new to me. I still miss him terribly but I am now able to function much better than before. I occasionally attend a local bereavement group which is a great help. And if i thought I needed it I would definitely seek professional counselling. We will never forget our lost child but I believe as time goes by we will learn to adapt to this new period of our life. Iām hoping to make some changes and do something charitable in memory of my boy. I cant change whats happened but i can change how I cope with it and move forward. I still have bouts of sadness and crying but they are less frequent now. I still think about him every day and will do so until the day I go to join him. Sending love and strength to all breaved parents out there. 
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You have given me some hope , at the moment im so afraid as all around me family and friends of my son are crying and i cant im so numb as if its not real why cant i let go i cant eat or sleep im wondering if the funeral will help me accept it xxx
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Sending much love and my very deepest sympathies.
Take each moment at a time, allow any feelings to come up to the surface. I found the first 12 months a time of shock, disbelief, post trauma, flashbacks, anger, and hopelessness. I didnt want to live and cant believe that i didnt die of heart ache but somehow, we survive! It is difficult to process child loss, there is no right or wrong way to feel or to grieve.
I dont really have the words, so Iāll send my love to you, and tell you āyou are not aloneā xx
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Im just dreading the funeral which is on the 26th of this month , its taken so long because of inquests and serious crime office im still not able to process it properly as the person who killed my son has been given bail the anger and injustice is just eating me up and stopping me grieving properly
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