Loss of my son

My son was 38 when he lost his fight two months ago from bone marrow failure, he had a massive brain bleed, I feel so lost heartbroken and angry, every one is carrying on as if he had never been here , how do cope with these feelings ? . I feel I have n support from my husband who is not my sons father

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your son, and that you don’t feel supported by your husband. I’m glad that you’ve found this site, as it’s really important to have somewhere you feel able to talk about your son and be open about your grief. There are many other bereaved parents here, who will understand some of what you are going through. While you wait for more replies to your post, you may find it helpful to read and possibly reply to some of the other recent posts in the Losing a Child section of the site: https://support.sueryder.org/community/losing-child

If you might find it helpful to talk things through one-on-one, we also offer an online bereavement counselling service. Find out more: https://support.sueryder.org/bereavement-counselling

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I’m so sorry to hear about your son and that you have had to go on this painful journey to. It’s very early days yet for you. You will naturally feel a lot of emotions, mostly heart broken. I lost my son 14 months ago in an accident. I found it helped me to get books about grief. It was good to read about the feelings I had and know they were normal for there times I thought I was loosing my mind. And finding this site helped a lot. To be able to reach out to others who know exactly how I’m feeling was invaluable. Take small steps for now, a day at a time. Rest when you can. There’s no short cut to this journey unfortunately. Take care x

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I’m so sorry you have lost your precious son, and feel that you are not supported by your husband. These early days bring a complete mish mash of emotions that seem to come at you full pelt.
I lost my daughter, age 36, 13 months ago. This forum has helped so much. There is always someone who will understand how you are feeling. I found it useful to read everything I could get my hands on, and attend Compassionate Friends meetings.
Sending you love and hugs. X

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Thank you for your message, I’m sorry about your son , its so hard to believe Chris has gone, his beautiful son is a comfort, although his mother makes it hard for us to see him , just like she did for Chris, I don’t understand why people have to be so cruel

Nothing, nothing I believe is as devastating as losing your child. I’m sorry that your son has died and that your heart feels broken. My daughter died in February and my experience is much the same as you describe when you say that everyone is carrying on as if he had never been here. It feels as though she never existed at all for everyone else - nobody ever says her name or talks about her. I guess they act like that for fear of upsetting us or fear of saying the wrong thing. but I just want to keep talking about her, showing people photos, talking about who she was, what she did and things she would say. I guess that’s why support groups are so useful if you can find one - there is a place where others really know what it’s like and that you need to talk about your son and share your memories and your sorrow.

Thank you for your message, it’s so devastating for us that people seem to have forgotten our children, although you are right they probably haven’t they don’t want to bring it up , I sometimes feel i can’t say to much about Chris incase they are thinking not again and don’t want to keep hearing it, my grandchildren and my oldest son is all that’s keeps me going,

Many times I have brought up my daughter when I think others are afraid to mention her. I actually say something I read somewhere which is: " if i cry it is not because you have upset me. It is because i have lost my child".
We don’t want others to feel uncomfortable around us but after all it is far worse for us than it is for them. We have to live with what has happened for the rest of our lives.
I find compassionate friends so comforting. It is my lifeline.
With love and strength. Xx

I know what your going through, I lost my only child Daniel on the 24th November 2016 from a blood clot after an operation it was a shock did not expect it I miss him every second of every day, it’s like most of my family have forgotten about him like he never existed except for my two sisters who have been great time dosent make it any easier I was looking forward to one day having grandkids that’s all gone now, he was only 33 I’m so sorry for your loss xx

I’m so sorry, the shock at first keeps you going, I tried to pretend it hadn’t happened, once that wore off the pain and loss is overwhelming, it doesn’t get any better I feel worse than ever , I know how you feel , I feel so sad for my son he will never see his son grow up or have grandchildren of his own, although Chris had a serious illness, no one expected him to pass when he did , I’m so sorry about your son , bless you x

I too have lost my son, 7 weeks ago today. It was sudden and unexpected. The friends I thought would be there are noticeable by their absence. It feels impossible to reach out for help. I have found the Refuge in Grief Facebook page and the book Its ok that you’re not ok useful although I struggle to read and retain information just now.

Hi
I am new to this site and felt I must reply to you
I lost my son in August this year aged just 39, he had malignant melanoma and it spread to his brain.
I have been extremely surprised by my family and friends . I always thought we were a close family but I can honestly say i have received little or no support from them , they really do not understand how I am feeling, they have all kept their distance, which in turn had made my grief much harder to bear.
I have relied much more on friends who I am able to talk to and share my feelings. I really think this is a very lonely journey and I certainly experience new feelings everyday, it just seems to get harder and harder .
I miss him so much, it really is a physical pain that I can see no end to

I’m so sorry for your sad loss, it’s been nearly 5 months since I lost my son , it seems to get harder every day, I see him every where , I feel so sad that he didn’t get to see his amazing son grow up , his son is the only thing that makes me smile , it’s so hard trying to make him understand that daddy isn’t coming back, I had so meany good friends or so I thought before Chris passed away, along with a lot of family I’ve had nothing from them , it’s one of the loneliest times of my life , it’s good to talk to people like yourself who understands the struggle we are all going through every day just to keep going , god bless x

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