Loss of my wife of 26 years *Edited title*

Coping with bereavement
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I am at a loss. My wife of 26 years recently passed away. I have contemplated suicide to be with her but am too scared to carry this out. She was my life. Due to spinal issues she couldn’t walk for the last two years and she had vascular dementia. She loved life though and was always happy in her own beautiful way. I talk to her constantly but get no answers. I am not religeous but truly hope she is safe somewhere as she was such a wondrous person. Thanks. x

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Hi @joeb40,

I’m Seaneen, the online community manager. Welcome to the community, and thank you for sharing with us. I’m so sorry about the loss of your lovely wife - she sounds like an amazing woman.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. I’m worried that you’ve mentioned feeling suicidal - it’s really important to reach out to someone with these thoughts and I wanted to share some options for you to explore here.

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
  • If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

We also an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling.

We have also recently launched a Grief Self-Help Service, which provides articles and interactive tools to help you cope with grief. If you’re interested in understanding more about grief and how you can manage it, please visit selfhelp.sueryder.org.

I have edited the title of your thread - I hope that’s okay, it’s to protect your privacy as I think you may have used your real name.

Please do keep sharing here and know you deserve help and support. You’re not alone, and we are listening.

Take care,

Seaneen

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Hi I’m sorry for your loss it’s so very hard and you feel everything you do is pointless my husband died last year it was very sudden and a shock I still can’t get my head around it now , but do please go and find support I think there’s a lot of support groups out there or try counselling I’m sure it may help , we must keep positive I know that’s very hard when feeling so low , I do meditation and go for walks and colouring and puzzles it all sounds pretty boring but it has helped me x take care x

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Thank you Poppy. x

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Dear Joe, I am so so sorry for your loss, I have been in the place where you are now, I hope that knowing you are not alone in feeling this way will give you some comfort, please keep reaching out, on here, the Samaritans, family, friends, your g,p, this group has really helped me, you can put your words on here and everyone understands, please keep reaching out and know you are not alone, take each day a day at a time, love Tracym

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Thank you Tracy. I do have support around me but currently I just feel lonely and sad that my beautiful wife is not here. xx

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Dear Joe, I know you must feel terribly lonely, 26 years is a long time, your wife sounds like a lovely lady, you were lucky to have each other, we never want to lose the ones we love, grief and feeling lonely are natural feelings, I suppose it’s the price we pay for loving them, but put your feelings on here, we all have these feelings in common, we understand, this group is always here, it’s been a lifeline for me, love Tracym

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Thanks Tracy, I hope so, even writing these few words has got me thinking of all the good times and brought a smile to me. I didn’t realise the loneliness side of things but I will potter about talking to her and remembering our chats. I think you are right about day by day as I have been thinking too far ahead which has overwhelmed me. I find that going out of the house is daunting whereas before I have been a confident person. Daily tasks/talking to people have become difficult as I keep breaking down, I do appreciate your words though.
Joe x