Yes…I have sorted a few things out…but the clothes seem like I’m disposing of something that is part of her…silly I know…but it’s what it is…
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@Mandyjayne your whole situation is devastatingly awful to deal with. I hope the counselling helps you. I’ve been having some and found it helped to talk to someone who didn’t know me , thinking of you x
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What I find hardest is the realisation that I won’t see her again in this lifetime, that creates such pain and sadness. This catches me out lots of times during the day, and night. It gets at the nub of this, that she won’t be physically in my life - that is what I can’t get my head around. Things that felt important are now meaningless.
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Thx @Mandyjayne for the feedback on the counselling, I hope it helps but I think I need to set my expectations accordingly. I’m sorry for your loss.
@Mandyjayne I can’t imagine the pain that must have caused you - how awful for you, you’ve done well to move beyond the anger you musty have real inner strength x
Hi K. I feel for you. I am the same. I lost m partner of 32 years Janet 8 weeks ago. We did everything together hardly ever apart. Went through COVID lock down for nearly 2 years. Frightened to catch it and give it her. Only for her breast cancer to come back after 18 years. Then surgery , then it came back again and spread to her bones.
Looked after her at home for the last month’s of her life. Basically by our selves. Now she’s gone I don’t know what to do. Big empty hole in my life.
I just try and do one thing at a time, sorting clothes for charity. Packing meds, new tyres on the motorhome. For some days out with our little Jack Russell.
At least you seem close with your son. My Jan’s.lad.has hardly spoken to me since the funeral. I keep trying to make contact with messaging send him the occasional lovely.pic of Jan…He says lovely but nothing else.
It feels like a double heartache to be shut out of their lives. I feel like howling at the pain but am frightened I wouldn’t stop and completely lose it.
Take care.
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Thanks.
I think I was in shock at first. Then anger, now hit by endless tears . I’m Grieving the man I knew and loved for the 34 years before he had the affair which started in 2019.
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Thanks
It was so out of character for him . Initially I felt like I hated him but it wasn’t helping . I think he made himself mentally ill with the guilt and I think it was over. I saw drafts of a letter he wrote to her trying to end it because she pressed him to leave us. From what I can see he had already tried to distance himself from her for a few months so she was pressing him.
I also found a bunny boiler type letter from her to him dated Dec2019 when she was calling him the love of her life and she wanted to caress his soul, the rest of it suggests it was new then, all a bit bazaar.
We had a lovely relationship before and I was with him since he was 18 I have to remember the boy and man I grew up with and the happy years. I can’t forgive him but the anger has faded.
The way he died was horrible and no matter what he did he didn’t deserve that .
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Keep talking to anyone. It helps.
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Same , it’s killing me to think I won’t see my wife again in this lifetime , the kids are the only reason I carry on
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I have yet to find a purpose for continuing, I simply lived and loved being in a partnership with my beautiful wife. The more I reflect on her battles with illness over decades the more I’m in awe of her strength. Every part of our home is filled with stories / memories from the items she bought to souvenirs from holidays etc. Each one has a meaning. I find the deepest aches arise when I realise I can’t make any more memories with her, I can’t go to our favourite holiday lodge with her and most importantly I can’t find comfort in the only individual who knew me better than I knew myself. I don’t mean to sound so downbeat, it’s just the enormity of losing such a massive part of my life the affects everything. I realise life goes on, but, jeez this feels like a mountain of Mount Everest dimensions and I’m simply too tired.
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I’m on this site seeing all these posts and it’s so sad, but at the same time there is some inspiration on here on how people are coping with grief. Just over 3 Weeks ago I lost my Partner of 12 Years to Womb Cancer 6 Months after diagnosis. I feel lost and cry several times a day, everyday and have done since we got the dreaded news that she had Cancer. We had a beautiful future planned together and was due to be Married in the next year. I am looking after myself exercising, eating well and keeping busy, talking to people and had some Counselling. But still I’m constantly thinking about her. I’m finding it so difficult to accept that I will never see her again. My hobbies which I am still trying to do now to keep occupied is just going through the motions. I can’t find enjoyment from anything and just feel sad. I’m hoping over time things will get easier. I feel scared and dreading what the future will bring.
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I’m sorry for your loss @Mr.Lovely, it is a very sad time and I find voicing my thoughts can help with reflection. I take the dog walks and aim to return to work post funeral so I suspect things that distract me will occur more often but it will never stop me reminiscing / feeling loss.
@KMCG
Hopefully you will find some comfort and support on here and to know you are not alone. We are all walking this crap journey alongside you, albeit at different stages. Nothing anyone can say can make it any better but you can vent your emotions here in a safe environment
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Hi @Mr.Lovely
So sad to hear your story. It’s good to keep yourself busy , that’s what I try to do but some days it’s all too overwhelming. It’s nearly 4 months since I lost my partner suddenly with no time to get to say goodbye. Today I’m feeling really low and other days I get through easier but my dogs been ill and the thought of losing him as well is playing on my mind. I haven’t gone back to work and continue to get signed off as I no longer have the strength to go my stressful and demanding job. That brings me more worry about what job I can get instead. Some nights I just want to go to bed at 7pm and shut the day out but I try to keep a routine going and stay up later. Take care x
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@KMCG
The memories when you touch or see an object are awful but also it’s nice to have happy memories. I’m starting a memory box with special items in so I can look at them when I want to. Although everything in the house is a memory I have started decluttering some areas of the house which has kept me busy when I feel up to it which some days I just don’t , hope going back to work helps you. I’m not ready yet x
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Lots of people on here have felt your pain, just knowing someone on here understands my pain & anger does help, my wife of 43 years died because the hospital neglected her, I got a letter of apology off the consultant, I could have rammed it down his throat, just know if you want to talk , rant or anything at all, the people on here know your pain.
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