My wife passed away last Saturday and I was with her at the Hospice. She didn’t reach her 50th birthday and we had 31yrs together. I am beyond consolable and every waking moment since is filled with pain and the hope that I will be with her. I cannot take it when someone with good intent advises me it’s part of the process! It may well be but in my eyes I’ve lost my wife, my best friend and the mother of my son. I’m not looking for an answer to this post, to be fair I’m not sure what I’m looking for outwith being with my wife. 
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Hi I’d just like to say you’re not alone in this and nothing people will say to you will make it any easier, we just have to process it how we can, and try to keep going as that’s what our loved ones would want
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@KMCG you’re right not to look for an answer to your post - right now there isn’t one, just know that we hear you - we have all lost our partners it’s a horrible club but if you are able, keep coming back to this place even if it’s just to read what others say. It does help.
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Thank you @Vixen @Juniper19 for your kind words.
I can’t get over the fact I’m not going to see my wife again. I just keep reminiscing about what we’d done in the past and our plans for the future and without her, well, I’m struggling to see the point. I ache inside, tho the worst time is the morning when I wake and realise she isn’t there. I have grieving support booked and waiting for a place but I keep thinking, unless you can make my wife appear I’m not convinced you’re going to help. Jeez I’m a 54yo man who knows that expectation is unrealistic but,…time to face another day. K
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I am so sorry things are still so raw. I am 15 months into my bereavement and it still hurts like hell. The first year I was so caught up with funerals, clearing the house and selling it, and finding and buying a new apartment that the time went quickly. Now that is all behind me the emotions are hitting like a ton of bricks. I hope you have a close and supportive family ( which I unfortunately did not) because you will need all the support you can get. Good luck for the future………Andrew.
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@KMCG yes people keep asking me if I have considered bereavement counselling but like you I’m not convinced it will help in any way and at the moment people just have to say one wrong word and I want to scream because they don’t get it - so what if they have helped people in this situation they can’t possibly have the first clue about the intensity of my feelings about my husband. So at the moment it’s better for me to avoid most things and all but the closest of friends and some family. That’s why coming on here is so helpful you get to talk and listen completely anonymously.
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Sorry for loss ,My thoughts are with you
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I ventured out today with my son and I noticed that I felt incredibly stressed and at one point considered getting my son to drive the car instead of me. This is not the first time I’ve felt stressed, almost panicked, when going out. Has anyone else felt this? I’ve no idea why as I’ve never suffered in this way before? Today marks the week anniversary since my wife passed - utterly broken, I’m reading all the feedback and comments on this and others threads but it all feels a bit hopeless at the moment.
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Sorry for your loss
I am sorry for your sad loss ,i lost my husband 2 months ago in January 2024,The only thing i can say just take one day ,that is what i am doing ,My thoughts are with you
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I’ve found that getting through the morning, then the afternoon then the night is about the best I can do. The fact is, everything I do, think and even not do relates to being a member of a partnership - no partnership challenges that to the core. Time for lights out.
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People coming to pick up medical equipment that my wife use to use today. Dreading the handing of it over, I mean it’s medical kit, but, it was her kit so it feels connected. Jeez that isn’t even a patch on her more personal items (clothes, gifts etc) so I’m not going anywhere near that for some time.
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So sorry for your loss. I lost my partner 6 weeks ago and it’s incredibly painful. I’ve been reading the posts on here and have found them helpful as I know that only here will people understand. I was desperate to get rid of anything medical as my partner had been getting depressed about it all. I had the same feelings about their connection to him, like you though and wept when they went - but kept telling myself that he is free of all that now.
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So sorry you had to join this club. I relate to so much of what you say, even tho I’m now 14 months into this horrific journey. I too felt panicky frequently early days…still do occasionally if I let myself think too long. All my wife’s clothes still hang in the wardrobe…no idea when they will be disposed of…still basically take one day at a time…that’s how it is. Had 18 Counselling sessions but not convinced they really helped much. This forum has been my best source of support. Use it when you need.
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My wife had a fantastic collection of vintage clothes which always made her look unique. Although they reminded me of her I gave them all to her favourite animal charity. I know they made a lot of money from them and that would have made her very happy and very proud. Every body has a different way of dealing with grief but to me the best memories of my wife are in my head, not in material things. Good luck…….Andrew
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I still have all my wife’s beautiful clothing . Don’t think I will ever part with it.
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I totally agree Andrew…and I know that’s what my wife would want and expect…and it will happen…just don’t know when…just yet…
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My husband drowned on holiday in October 23. I was in shock for a while I think but now constantly crying. I’ve started grief counselling but just like you think what’s the point it’s not going to change the situation it won’t bring him back .
I’ve only had two sessions yet but immediately after each I feel a slight improvement in mood . They listen without judgement and just encourage you to let everything out with out interrupting or questioning you or passing irritating comments.
I’m not sure if it will help much long term yet but it’s worth a try I think.
I do think talking in general helps but my family must be sick of me. Sometimes it’s easy to talk to a stranger.
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I’ve got no plans to move my partners clothes yet. It’s been 15 weeks since he passed. I’ve had to sell or dispose of some things he had such as cars motorbikes and hobby stuff but the clothes are so personal. I did just a week ago dispose of his toothbrush and some of his toiletries as I hadn’t touched them either. I don’t know if the constant reminders around you make it harder or not but it just seems heartless moving things out of the place he left them. Best wishes to you all on this horrible journey. X
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I found out shortly after my husbands death he had been having an affair. I got rid of most of his clothes and belongings then because the anger and hurt of that eclipsed the grief of his death. I suppose I was acting like I would have done had he been alive.
The anger has passed now and I’m just left with the grief and sadness but I’m glad his stuff has gone because with out the energy the anger gave me I don’t think I could have faced it.
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