Loss of my wife

My whole world seems to have imploded and i know everyone tries their best by their kindness and suggestions of “remember your memories” and try “hobbies” or things that will fill your time, but truth is life without my solemate isnt really a life its an existance. All we ever wanted was to grow old together enjoy retirement and live the normal happy and loving life we always dreamt of. To have it torn away in such a cruel heartless way at such a young age is heartbreaking.
I was lucky to have found such happyness for so many years with such a wonderfull person, but life without her is a life without meaning. I miss everything about her and miss the companionship and love she gave. I feel alone, empty and lost, there really are no words

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Hi Newcastle Man, you will find support and guidance on this blog - I’ve only been on here two weeks - and have found it to be so comforting. Unfortunately we are all suffering the same loss - and we just have to take every minute, hour and day a step at a time - I miss my soulmate and love of my life so very much - he died tragically in an accident while we were on holiday in July this year- we had been together since 1977 - I write to him every night in a journal telling him how my day has gone - we had so many plans for our retirement/travel, etc - so the future is now a new challenge. But I know he would want me to be strong for my sons - be strong - cherish memories and just think she will be watching over you. Happy to chat anytime x

Thank you so much for your kindness and i am so sorry to hear of Your loss. Life can and is cruel without doubt and always seems to be aimed at loving and happy couples regardless how long or short time theyve had together. It pains me to go anywhere seeing happy couples together ( i know i shouldnt feel envious of them ) but i really do. Ive tried going out to places but honestly as we were together for 33 happy loving years we went everywhere as one and it brings back too many memories hense i stay in with the comfort of our home that WE built around me. I undetstand the stages of grief but its the lonlyness and feeling of being alone i hate. My wife has a loving close family who i visit but feel im a burden even though im welcomed with open arms and i know theyre each hurting inside but its so difficult to explain even to them the pain i am suffering.
Thank you for your sincere reply. Feel free to contact me anytime

Newcastle man ( sorry i dont know your name )
…I am Jackie, age 68 and recently lost my sole partner of 20 years 11 th April coming up to 7 months ago, he was 74 but believed he would live into his 100’s well life has a cruel way of shattering ones dreams and beliefs…
I am left all by myself with PP-MS and hating every day without my Richard and our three fur-babies that we had once had, also i am missing our home back in Bedofrdshire after moving so far away here in Dorset a place i thoroughly regret now on moving to…
You are so right, life seems to be aimed at loving couples, we were once a pai of them, and i absolutly am hating this being a single again, this was not the way our life was meant to pan out, we have both earnt the right during our hard working years to retirement together into old gae, our 70’s and 80’s at least but our God had other plans, he took my Richard away from me far to soon…

Jackie…sending a ((( hug ))) to you…

Thank you so much for your kindness and im so sorry to hear of your loss and ongoing pain. The questions every1 wants answers to can never be answered i.e. are they ok, safe and at peace and happy and do they think of us. I believe in my heart there must be something, somewhere after passing and believe everything happens for a reason but also to rob life of a loving happy couple is so wrong and it feels like life is now an existance and on total hold. Im sure you feel same. I cherished my wife so much and i had found my one true solemate without question. Yes i had 33 wonderfull years with her and noone could question our love for oneanother but to have it taken away at such an early age i csnnot nor ever will understand why.
I tend to try n keep busy but find im more content at home knowing my surroundings are part my wife. I do always feel lonely and i do miss an adult chat as im sure you also do. Anyone looking through window will think im crazy talking to myself but never hearing a reply.

Newcastle Man…
…there are more crazies out there than there are in here…
Keep on talking to your wife and believe she is hearing every word…I will never stop talking to my Richard…

Jackie…

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Hello Magstar
It was so good to read your latest message on here. My husband passed away in August 2018 and my whole world collapsed around me. I have tried so hard to come to terms with life without him but all I long for is to be with him. The pain of bereavement has to be one of the worst ever experienced. The loneliness is so hard to bear. Coming onto this website and finding that there are many other men and women suffering just like me does bring some comfort. I try to take one day at a time and find weekends so unbearable and distressing. Would love to hear of how other widows and widower are coping.

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Dear Newcastle Man
My world imploded like yours when my 60 year old husband got up to go to work one morning , collapsed with a sudden cardiac arrest and died 3 days later in ITU
That was the summer of 2018
I am still in shock
When people told me to remember the good times it just upset me more because my husband should have still been there to have more good times with …and that had all been taken away in an instant
I do lots of stuff . I have children , a business ,animals , friends and make the effort to join in but to lose the love of your life …my husband and I had known each other since we were teenagers …is devastating
I am seeing my bereavement counsellor today . It helps to unburden myself to someone outside of the family but part of me went missing when my husband died . I am not myself any more . I think that person has gone now .
So I understand how lost you feel
I just take one day at a time
The future without him is too scary to contemplate otherwise
It is a hard slog to keep going but do your best . I’m sure that is what your lovely wife would want you to do .
Keep her close in your heart and let her be your strength
Sending understanding
Romy xxx

Newcastle man you’re story is the same as mine, I’m totally lost they say it gets easier, just seems to get worse maybe it’s because iv had 3 strokes so my head is bit scrambled but I don’t see it getting easier, totally lost.

…How w can get better - easier…the longer it goes on is the realisation that our partner-hubby-wife is never ever going to be coming back to us…

Jackie…

Dear Romy,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness to reply, and more so your kind words. I do and shall always try my best not so much for myself but my 27 yr old son and the promise i made my beloved wife. Im sure each n everyone on this site feels the same and misses their loved one each and every day and i am no different. My " life" came to an abrupt end when she passed away, so many promises & plans destroyed in an instant. I think and talk to her every day and yes this forum does help knowing others are as to speak in the same boat. Only 2 things are guarenteed in life 1 is birth and 2 is death but to be taken at such a young age (57) with our “retirement” lives ahead is so hard to take. My wife loved life in every way, never having a bad word for anyone and helping others in so many ways. I feel sometimes why should we be good decent and honest people having our lives taken when " others" out there appear to be indestructable, surely that is wrong.
I wish u well and hope your grief is eased in whatever way is possible for you, and again thank you for your kindness
Regards

xxxxxxx

Dear Romy,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness to reply, and more so your kind words. I do and shall always try my best not so much for myself but my 27 yr old son and the promise i made my beloved wife. Im sure each n everyone on this site feels the same and misses their loved one each and every day and i am no different. My " life" came to an abrupt end when she passed away, so many promises & plans destroyed in an instant. I think and talk to her every day and yes this forum does help knowing others are as to speak in the same boat. Only 2 things are guarenteed in life 1 is birth and 2 is death but to be taken at such a young age (57) with our “retirement” lives ahead is so hard to take. My wife loved life in every way, never having a bad word for anyone and helping others in so many ways. I feel sometimes why should we be good decent and honest people having our lives taken when " others" out there appear to be indestructable, surely that is wrong.
I wish u well and hope your grief is eased in whatever way is possible for you, and again thank you for your kindness
Regards

Hi
I’m very sorry for your loss and can feel the pain in your words.
My wife died in July 2018 Aged 51 only 3 weeks after cancer diagnosis and just 5 weeks before our first granddaughter was born that she never got to see.
I can’t tell you it gets easier I just try and cope as best as I can, one day at a time is often said on here but it does help.
Please take care of yourself
William