Loss of my wife

Its been 9 months since the love of my life passed having a short illness its been very difficult to keep strong for my daughters and grandchildren I went back to work having some sort of routine it seems to be getting harder as time goes by good days and bad days . I have experienced loss before in the family which was difficult nothing prepares you with the loss of your wife

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Hi @Macgill, I’m so sorry for the loss of your wife - sadly, many of our members have experienced the death of their partners and will understand some of what you are going through. I’m just giving this a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will be along to offer their support.

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Yes it is very difficult. How can a person just not be there anymore? People pass away every second of every day but when it happens to our loved one we feel the full force of grief. Me personally, I am trying to find things to do that stop life from “sucking” for just a little while. I haven’t gone back to work yet as my partner passed away just under a month ago . I think that the routine of work is good but we also need time and space to grieve in our own way. There is no time limits on grief. I heard a quote once - your grief doesn’t get smaller - your life just gets bigger around it. So put one foot in front of the other. Just focus on one thing at a time. You say you have to be strong for your daughters. Are they children ? Is there someone with whom you can share your feelings? You are allowed to not be strong all the time. Life does get better. It won’t be the same but that believe it or not, might turn out to be a good thing. I am living proof. (This is my second loss after having lost my husband 19 years ago. ) Connecting with others on this forum is very helpful as you realise you are not alone and that there is HOPE. :heart:

Mate it’s the worst thing that is ever going to happen to you, I’m 7 months into this crap and it seems like yesterday, I’m not going to try to compare your grief with mine because we’re all different but my take on this is ‘no wife no life’ everything went when my Joan went.
I’m trying to build some kind of life at 67 years old instead of just existing. Good luck.

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I know trying to build a life on your own at 65 is hard for me. My husband was always there to support me look after me love me guide me now on my own seems so pointless. I try to keep busy with daytime things but nights and weekends are hard on your own. I try to keep positive thoughts in my mind but sometimes it works and most times i go back to the realisation that he is gone my life can no longer be the same as it was 3 months ago

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Hi Macgill, So sorry for your loss.
Children and grand children can be and have been a god send. They will back you with what ever decision you make and trying to be strong for them is really hard. My daughter said to me last night that this is not what they or their dad would have wanted and i am thinking that your daughters might be thinking that too. She said he would want me to take care of myself and i know she is right. I have held onto tears just to stay strong but this is not doing me any good. Let it go and cry if you want to, It does no one any good bottling it up. Take care of yourself.