Loss of my wife

I lost my wife in the middle of June after 31 happy years of marriage. I had been her full time carer for the past 5 years dealing with home haemodialysis and other health issues. Now life feels totally empty. I’ve had fabulous support from family. I’m sure that what I’m feeling is not unique

Hi, I’m so sorry about the loss of your wife. My partner of 30 years died suddenly last November. He would have been 50 this year. I was his full time carer for the last two years. It was complications due to being diabetic type 1. Everybody here feels the same way, feeling lost, hurt and lonely. It is an awful thing we have gone through and the first couple of months are just a blur with things to do. You just have to take one day at a time and do whatever you want to do in your own time. Luckily you have your family to support and help you, as I did. I’ve had all the emotions, sad, angry, denial which is all normal, and ask why did it happen. Other people on the forum can write things better than I can, but I hope this has helped a bit. Just keep writing on here, whatever your feeling, because we have all been there. This forum has helped me enormously over the past few months and I’m sure it will help you too.
Take care love Janet x

You have had a routine for the past 5 years, now your daily routine has come to its ed, which has now left you with nothing of importance to do, a routine of looking after your wife gave you a means to an end…your wife was your sole purpose during these past five years…You will not only be dealing with bereavement but also the loss of your daily, monthly, yearly routine of caring for your dear wife, of which would have taken its toll on you health wise but you would still very much wish for your wife to be back with you, where she belongs…now it is your turn to take care of your own health…

Jackie…

Yes Jackie your so right, caring for someone for a long time, it becomes routine, when it’s gone, your completely lost. My husband used to ask me what are we doing today, ( I don’t mean going out) He meant hair wash, personal needs, it took up a lot of the day for us both, and very tiring too. And I do miss doing those little personal caring jobs for him. He told me what would he do without me. Now it’s me what am I going to do without him, the days are long, and empty. I’m awake half the night. Can’t believe I’m coping on so little sleep, so I truly understand what is going on. No suggestions really, I’m trying to establish a routine for myself, my neighbour told me plan the night before what you intend to do tomorrow, then you won’t be Messy about your day, achieving nothing.

Planning for tomorrow as we now know it, does not always go to plan…I think we just need to face each day as it comes, some days turn out a tad better than the day before…and vise versa…Some days, I totally agree with what you say, we achieve something, or we simply achieve nothing…

Jackie…

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