Loss of our security...

I think i can sum this up in one sentence…" we have lost our security when one of a couple dies…" For ex amount of years, all we had known was the two of us, as i have mentioned on our forum before, our world is full of couples, and once we were one of them, a couple…It is heartbreaking when one of us dies, for the one who is left behind but, to start life as a single person takes some getting used to, no i will rephrase that, we dont get used to because deep down we dont want to get used to, this was the last thing before our partner died that we would be thinking about, a new forward life without them by our side…We wont get used to because we dont want to get used to it, our new life, " we will never ever get used to being a single person again, how could we, why wold we, when all we are craving is our other half to be with us…as i have said many times before, our world has become a very empty and lonely place, oh yes, some may have friends and family around but for many, many are not so lucky where they had only ever lived there life as a couple and done everything together, not needing for anything else or anyone else…Yes in losing our partner- hubby-wife, we have lost our one and only " security " the one person who made us feel secure and safe, the person we relied on, the one person who knew us inside and out, the good and the bad, our thoughts, our habits, our likes, our dislikes…yes we are only half without our partners…


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I understand Jackie, I think also we lose an innocence we never realized we had as well. I don’t count myself as single, to be honest I’ve not a clue what I count myself as anymore but I think I’ll leave “single” to the likes of the council tax forms and legal documents etc. Maybe if I did mentally accept a status of “single” it would be better for my emotional well-being but it’s easier said than done isn’t it. I always read your posts Jackie, they always strike a chord. Keep going on as best you can. x

Hi, I don’t know what to call myself anymore but I know it’s not single. I still feel a couple, I still feel his presence too much to cast him aside. He is still such a big part of my life. I still do the things that we did together. Is this the right thing to do, I’m not sure. So many confusing thoughts going around my head.
Jackie, your telling me, it take some getting used to and I have been on my own before and managed quite well. No, I think it’s something much deeper than that. Part of us has been taken away and we have to adjust to not being whole.
I had time to consider what my life would be like without Brian and stupidly thought that I was strong enough to cope. Never in my wildest dreams did I consider that it would leave me with so many mixed up emotions.
You have said it all. “The one person that made us feel secure”, Someone who knew the good and bad of us but still loved us etc.
Love Pat xx

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