This is my first post. I lost my sister 6 months ago yet it feels like yesterday. Until now I’ve felt numb and shrouded in a fog. As I’m slowly emerging, my grief is so intense and raw. People seem to think I should be moving on now and surprised at what seems to them a backward step as I’ve appeared to be ‘coping well’. I have lost a huge part of my life and really don’t know how I’m going to cope without her. It all seems so overwhelming and I can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. Does anyone else feel like this? Is it normal? Is there anything I can do to make things better? I’m at a total loss at what to do. Any advice, support would be really appreciated. Thank you.
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Hello SL23, i am new here and would like to say i know exactly how you are you feeling , as i have very recently lost my sister aswel. You do have my heartfelt sympathy and understanding , i lost my sister in March , i feel i am a different person, just not myself inside or out. I try keep busy , sometimes thitis works sometimes it does not, i do not know exactly what makes me so intensely upset, its like waves, will suddenly come out with bursts of tears for 5-10 minutes then i stop, maybe be ok for a hour or so depending what i am doing then starts again.
I have found if have a item belonging to your loved one to hug it helps a little for a while if you think your able to do this at the moment.
Have you tried talking to your sister? either in your head or out loud. I do all the time, (i talk outside , in shops on buses, in bed, in my home) people do look glance at me when i am chatting quietly to sister, but i think , people think i am on my hands free mic on a mobile phone call. I will walk around , saying things like, " I am just doing bit shopping, then going to visit mum. Chat soon sis. "
There are lots of people talk to their loved ones as if they are still around, just most people will not admit it due to some people think they are or going crazy.
Hope a little of what i say here has maybe give you a little comfort and something to think about, maybe give a little try.
Take Care and sincere wishes , and prays for you and your family.
Hello Col11 thank you for reply. It felt supportive and helped me reading you know how I’m feeling. I just feel so alone with it. I do talk to my sister out loud or in my head every day. Sometimes it helps but other days nothing does and I just cry and retreat into my shell. I have lost other family members in the past but losing sister seems to be affecting me more. Try to take it one day at a time.
Thank you again for replying. I wish you well and hope you get the support we all need during these unbelievably difficult times. Look after yourself too.
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Hello SL how are you today?
Thanks for your reply and your kind words , so many sincere, beautiful special hearts in people on this website , i feel for everyone on this site reading your heartbreaking experiences, diagnosis, treatments you are all going thru at the moment and waiting , and everyones losses.
I wish there was a way on this site we could virtually give someone a hug, hold someones hand i know that is what i need and i am sure anyone and everyone would love the same during our darkest times.
SL , have you received any signs or messages yet from your sister? Its ok if you have not, please believe me when i say you will. It is 4 weeks for my sister and i have had 3 signs and messages already.
Be patient, act normal as you can, dont going looking for anything special happening or expecting anything…you sister will be in contact when she is ready and needs to say something or show you something.
Hope i have not upset you with my words, i know when someone does receive a sign /message from a loved one, it gives a lot of joy , a wonderful warm calming feeling inside and some comfort.
Take care and bless you sl.
Hugs 2 u
Hello Col thank you for asking how I am, kind words make all the difference don’t they. I had a dream for the first time where my sister spoke to me so I ‘heard’ her voice. Sadly it felt more upsetting than comforting. I’ve had a very busy day sorting matters to do with her loss and I’m feeling exhausted. The loss of your sister is more recent than mine. How are you doing? I hope you’re getting support, love and kindness from people. It makes such a difference. Look after yourself
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Hi SL , you are very welcome , yeah, you will be exhausted, it certainly takes it out of you , i felt the same after a few months but somehow had spurts , boosts of energy to keep going, i never used sleep, was scared to be honest when i was staying with sister, while she slept all day and night for 3 weeks constantly.
Anyway, sorry back to you sl , That is lovely for you, i am geniune pleased and happy for you. I know you said it was a little upsetting well i guess anyone would be, it would of been more tears of joy and surprise hearing your sister voice again. See, it is real and it does happen. I promise you will have more , i can,t tell you when or how long you will need to wait, but you will. it could be a random message of some kind, a sign or a gift your sister leaves for you. Can i please give you a little advice, i mentioned to another member, When ever you do receive a message, a sign of some kind, or a gift left from your sister, please say her name, then say " Thank you, (name) for contacting me and sending me you message" Always give thanks , say thank you to your sister, as loved ones are wanting and need your approval for contacting you. Hope your sorting matters is going ok and making a little progress, There is so much to think about and do. Do have any help , family friends? The hardest part , apart from sisters final day , was sorting and clearing her home, A persons whole life in black bin bags, charity bags and boxes.
Everyone here are and have been so friendly, kind and listen. I have cried reading some members sad situations. Just want to wave a magic wand , make everyone here well again and hug you and everyone. Take all your sadness away.
Please stay in touch, i am here for you, even if you just want to say hi.
Bless you, and take care.
Hugs, x
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