I lost my husband suddenly last week. I am a mess. I don’t know what I would’ve done without a couple of friends who have let me stay with them .I just can’t face going home at the moment apart from nipping in to see my pets. I was there today alone.i intended on staying for a few hours but only ended staying an hour. It’s the loneliness and the emptiness of the house that I can’t stand. How am I ever going to sleep there ever again and get back to some kind of normality. I just feel so terrified of the loneliness.
5 Likes
Hello Angelag, so sorry for the loss of your husband 
I lost my husband 8 weeks ago, I understand how alone you feel, im glad you’ve been able to stay with friends, because it will help you not being alone, you hafta first try and I mean try to even get your head around to what happened, and then hopefully slowly you might try staying in your place for a little longer, its a long tortuous journey that we’re all going through, sorry im probably not helping, but know you are not alone, we understand, we’ve all been through it. Please take care and God bless you
3 Likes
Hi Angelag, I am so sorry that you are suffering so much. I am gladb that you have some lovely friends to support you. It’s very early on for you. At the moment you need to look after yourself make sure you do the basics of eating and drinking. The first week for me was just a blur, after my wife died. If you find you can’t deal with things ask for help and get an appointment with your GP. I hope you find some solace here on this site as everyone here understands what you are going, we are all suffering from the loss of our partners.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
5 Likes
Dear Angelag1,
I feel your pain and I know how much it hurts… It has been a year since my most beloved husband died and I still can’t play our music that put the tears in my eyes and watching the videos to hear his loving voice makes me cry as well. It’s incredibly tough, so I’m grateful to have found this forum a few days ago… Try to find some comfort and take it little by little… You’ll always find a support here… We are all on the same boat… You’re never alone…
Janka
5 Likes
Hi Sunflowers, I’m sorry to hear you suffering. From what you have posted you have had a whirlwind of an emotional journey over the last five months. I’m not surprised you are feeling so devastated. My wife died just over five months go after suffering from bile duct cancer. The first two months were the worst months of my life. The pain of her death was unbearable. Over the next three months things have improved there are now days that are easier to get through but there are some bad days too. Often weekends are the worst.
I joined a bereavement group at the beginning after someone here suggested it and I did find it helpful. This site was also a great help as everyone on here understands how horrific losing a someone is. Walking was also a great help as exercise helps reduce anxiety and being tired is helpful for sleeping.
I’m sorry to hear that the people you work with aren’t very supportive. One of the problems is that people don’t understand how life changing a bereavement is until they are touched by it and there are people who just don’t think about others.
I hope you find some solace here, being able to talk about what you are going through helps a lot.
Sending you strength
Wishing you all the best
Tom
3 Likes
Hi Angelag, I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand completely the lonliness. My husband passed on May 15, 2026 from bile duct cancer. Even though I knew the end was coming, it still devastated me. I had kept hope that he would survive. He had beat two other cancers in his life. I have found solace staying in our home because this is where our life was and I feel him here. I was offered a place to stay but I knew I needed to be here. But I too feel afraid of sleeping. I sleep with the light on. I’m afraid of the future. Praying for you.
2 Likes
I’m so very sorry for the sad loss of your husband, just 4 weeks ago.
It’s a nightmare with no escape route!
I also lost my wonderful husband to bile duct cancer, it will be exactly 1 year ago, this Tuesday.
Until, my Michael was diagnosed with this evil disease, neither of us had even heard of it.
We were informed that it’s a very rare and extremely aggressive cancer, which devastatingly, proved to be right.
What we didn’t realise at the time, is that when they handed out ‘that’ diagnosis, they were, in fact, handing out Michael’s death sentence, and after enduring 8 months of suffering, torture and medical interventions galore, too many to go into, his body could take no more.
Michael fought like a lion, with bravery, courage and dignity.
I couldn’t be anymore proud of him.
We both naively held onto the hope that some kind of divine, last minute miracle would occur, but sadly that never manifested.
The world stopped spinning, and my entire universe collapsed around my feet on that day last June.
My Michael was only 58 years old.
I am heartbroken, grief-stricken, lost, lonely, empty, afraid and feel hopeless.
In all honesty, and truly, I’m not saying this for effect, I don’t know how I’ve managed to get through a year without my amazing soulmate, best friend, and the love of my life.
All of our dreams, hopes and plans for the future, our retirement, and growing old together, have been cruelly stolen, forever.
Somehow, I have got through minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.
My struggles have been plentiful, and I’m still struggling every single day.
The ‘future’ petrifies me… there was only ever “Plan A”, we never thought either of us would need a “Plan B”… not in a million years!
I have daily panic and anxiety attacks that I had never experienced before my Michael passed.
The light has gone out of my eyes, along with all the joy and happiness that once ruled my fairytale life with the man of my dreams.
I miss my darling Michael desperately every second of every day, and that will never, ever change.
The pain is always there, and feels very “heavy” but somehow, you very slowly get used to carrying it around with you everywhere, like a limpet that’s attached itself to you.
I wish you luck on this “shit” journey you find yourself on, nothing about it is easy, but somehow, you will get through, one day at a time.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Take care.
Eve x
1 Like