Loss of Spouse

I lost my Husband of 53 years in March 2023 in a very traumatic way in Hospital. I was in shock and was diagnosed with PTSD so spent most of the first year unable to process his passing. Now I find the deep sadness is much worse although my Counsellor says that is often how it happens but I find I do not know who I am as I have never lived on my own as I left my parents’ home to get married. I have one Daughter and 1 Grandson although they are both supportive have their own lives to live. I go to a number of Groups and while i like it while I am there when i arrive home the sadness is almost overwhelming. All i can say to others feeling as I do that i tell myself that i will feel better in time although i will never completely be the same as part of me passed away with my Husband.


I’m so sorry you’re feeling so bad. I lost my husband 11 weeks ago and the pain and loss are really raw. I too have support but that doesnt take way the pain and loneliness. I too tell myself I’ll feel better in time, and I need to believe that to get through. As you say when they passed away they took a big part of us with them. I don’t know if we’ll ever get it back.
But for now we must take every crumb of comfort and every step we can, no matter how small. I so hpoe that eventually we will learn how to cope

Big hugs to you x


Thank you so much and I really agree with you. For me it was the absolute shock of how quickly my Husband became so critically ill and the fact that I always hoped the hospitals would make him better and believed that would happen when it became clear in the last two days of his life that wouldn’t happen the shock was immense. I feel that as you say it is a day at a time and gradually work through the grief as everyone grieves in their own way. I am so very sorry for your loss and fully understand how you feel.


Hi Crafty-girl. You could be telling my story my husband passed away on the 1st February, 2024 and we’d been married almost 53 years. He too shouldn’t have died, the hospital as one doctor said “let us down”. We only knew 2 days before that there was nothing they could do for him. I miss him so so much and can’t bear my life without him. I have three grown up sons and they have been very supportive as have my other family and friends, but that doesn’t make up for the void that is left and the loneliness. Nothing is interesting to me now, I used to love doing craft, and my husbands company, days out and holidays. It’s so sad. I definitely was in shock and still can’t come to terms with it all.

My husband of became ill very suddenly and only lived for 6 days after his diagnosis. We had been together for 42 years.
Looking back he hadn’t been well for a while but the hospital said there was nothing wrong with him, that was just 4 weeks before we were told it was probably cancer.
The speed with which it happened surprised me and I still don’t think I’ve processed it properly. How do you?
When he died he took a whole lot of me with him. I’m trying to get my life back together but I’m afraid I’m not really doing very well at it.
Like you, I used to do a lot of craft, now I can’t get interested at all.
I have had a couple of up days but I know that can change all too quickly.

Sending you all hugs

1 Like

Sending you all hugs, my husband of 25 years died 6 weeks ago after a short illness as well. He went into hospital after having a fall, and a week later I was told he had 6 weeks to live. Last year he had a kidney removed for kidney cancer, and was given the all clear, but unfortunately it came back, and they said there was nothing they could do for him. I’m not coping very well either, my children have long left home, and are not very supportive, so I feel very alone, and the house is so empty without him here.

1 Like

I’m so sorry for your loss. Its horrendous isnt it.
I’ve just seen a typo in my last post. It was 6 weeks not 6 days. But it would never have been enough time.
I’m 11 weeks in now and still very up and down. I’ve had a couple of goodish days and then this morning I’ve woken up in tears. Its like being constantly on a rollercoaster.
I’m going to make myself get up and have a shower and then go out. Otherwise I’ll sit crying all day and that’s no good, and certainly not what my husband would have wanted.
I hope you can have a reasonable day.
Sending you hugs