Hi. First time post. A year ago I got a frantic call from my mum saying she couldn’t wake my step dad. I am 1 of 4 aged 51. They share 11 grandchildren, youngest being 14. I have two older brothers and a younger sister. On that terrible morning I got to my mum’s within minutes as did my middle brother (we are the closest of the 4). Mum was down stairs on the phone to the paramedics. We took the phone from her and ran to our stepdad who was in bed. It was very evident from the moment we saw him that he had passed. We checked everything the emergency call handler told us to and as his belly was slightly warm we were told to perform cpr despite us telling her he had definitely gone. She was a professional we weren’t. We were distraught and in blind panic. She knew he was on the bed and did not advise us to move him. So the cpr started. For 20 whole minutes we done this whilst battling the tears, raw emotion, hearing the screams from all the family downstairs that had since arrived as they could hear what we were doing. After over 20 mins a first responder came in and told us he had gone and to stop. To which I replied and said we should never have started. We lost our real dad to suicide. Our step dad was a tall ex rugby man and the kindest gentleman selfless man you could ever wish to meet. I reported our experience and it was concluded that we were ill advised that day by the call handler and she would be retrained after her maternity leave which started the day after our call. Our step dad had never been married and had no children. He chose my mum and chose to be the dad he did not have to be. We all miss him so much. My brother and I are so traumatised by what we done that day. Maybe we robbed our loved one of his last dignity. Why did we do the cpr for so long or even at all knowing he was gone. We did because we were told to. That days haunts us so very much.
Thank you for reading my story
