loss of transgender partner

I lost my transgender partner on Nov 5th one day before my birthday and one week before hers. Could not be with her at the end or even view at chapel of rest. Hospital lost a piece of jewellery which was special to both of us did not ring me to say she had died and waited a day for bereavement team to contact me. We had an out of the ordinary relationship as I am a gay woman and It is hard to get any understanding in this situation. Also isolated in a N. Notts village! I am devastated.

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I’m sorry. its hard enough already to lose your person without feeling you are not being respected or treated like her partner. Its just all so horrible. If you have an hour where you feel like you could do something (its a lot of effort in the depths of grief though so a big ask) maybe you could write a letter to the hospital as a complaint in the hope they may look a bit harder for your special jewellery. Maybe there is a chance it might turn up?

Without any support I don’t know how you can manage so I hope you can find someone to talk to, even if samaritans or sue ryder counselling.

Take care and I hope you can find some support. I have good support and am only barely managing to get hour to hour after my own soulmate died last month. It is horrible gut wrenching pain and so lonely even with people around.

Thanks I have tried to trace the jewellery to be told it had probably been burnt with the body bag… great. Not handled at all well. Also in danger of losing our home together as she took out a property reversion lease! Possibly the firm defrauded her on that one! Does not improve here at this juncteure I have until the end of January to clear and vacate…

Hello Liz, I am so sorry for your sudden loss… The hospital staff gave me the rings of my partner shortly after his departure, you may need to check with the hospital, there should be some kind of official procedure to handle this kind of belongings…

Two months have passed since i lost my partner and I have to move to a new apartment as well, do try to get some help from friends or family if you can, it’s a lot easier to sort belongings out when someone is by your side. People often want to support you but they don’t know how until you ask.

My thoughts are with you Xxx

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