Yesterday I lost my wife after 56 years a marriage . She was taken by cancer after a very short illness . Our marriage was wonderful . She was the most unselfish , loving , caring and honest person I have ever met . She NEVER let me down through all the years . Our love grew stronger with the passing years . We had a simple but happy and content life . I myself had cancer a few years ago and she got me through it all . She was very gentle yet had a wonderful inner strength . Together we made a whole person . Now I feel lost , insecure , and fearful of the future . I am crying nearly all the time . The house is silent and empty . So many things remind me of her . We loved buying things for the house . Every item has a story and a memory . We loved our home but now it all means nothing to me . Already I am feeling guilt . Maybe I should have noticed something wrong . Maybe I could have done something . I know deep down I could not have changed anything but the thoughts haunt me .
The world outside is as it always is and yet mine has stopped . I depended on her so much in so many ways . Maybe too much .
I feel scared and unable to deal with what I need to do . I have never felt such pain . Hard to believe I can feel this way and still be alive . I am older than she was . It seems so unfair . She was a better person than me . I feel I didn’t deserve her .
She always knew how much I loved and needed her . Now I walk around the house talking to her and thanking her for every moment she devoted to me .
I cannot believe this pain will ever end . …
I am so sorry Noel. It is, indeed, a pain like no other. Your wife sounds like a lovely person. My husband was my everything. Half of me went with him - I feel so empty and lost now. All you can do some days is to just take it a breath at a time. Get support from anyone you can and talk to your GP. Every day is hard to get through - we just have to keep plodding on. It is so hard because we were so happy with the life that we had yet it got taken away from us. My thoughts are with you.
Noel, I feel the pain and everything you have written is all the feeling I have and have had. We feel for each other on here because we all know that pain but each persons pain is their own. We are all sorry for your loss and what you are going through and we all send you our love and blessings.
Cherish those memories and talk to her as much as you want to, I do, I tell my soulmate everything I do and where I have been and sometimes I think I get an answer, daft but I don’t care.
53 years is a long time but it is never long enough, life seems cruel sometimes and grieving is cruel.
Try to keep busy and if you have friends use them to help you over the worst, good friends will stay and help. I am thinking of you, take care. S xxx
I was fortunate to have the opportunity to say thank you to my wife of 25 years on the last day 3 months ago. She gave me plenty of joyful days and a lovely daughter. For a person like me who grew up in a family with little love I didn’t deserve that. She made me a better person. She was my lucky star.
Great love is always followed by deep grief.
Sending hugs…
So sorry for your loss Noel, my wife passed away 4 months ago and we were together 30 years, she was my entire life, I am discovering that grief is a very painful and personal journey that we must all go through, people say the deeper the love the deeper the grief, our house is full of all her personal touches, I have photos up all over the house so I can still talk to her everyday, please take care, it sound like you had the most wonderful marriage
Like you, I was lost initially but I had family support and I go
to church weekly.
I built a rose garden near the local war memorial in a remembrance garden and maintain it. The roses were blessed by the local lady curate. It blooms each year in June.
Now I focus on helping other people in need. This helps to keep me strong.
My favourite TV programme isTop of the Pops
Philip, that’s so lovely and helping others does take your mind of your own worries and it also takes up the time that you suddenly find available. Keep reading others posts and posting yourself. Writing about how you feel can help. Blessings to you. S xxx
Thank you so much Philip, very kind of you. Yes I started to volunteer because of losing my soulmate, I volunteer at our local hospice under normal times and it helped me to keep busy but also helping others who are going through what we went through. I will cherish the photo. xx
Hi @Philip, we lost my mom to quite sudden kidney failure 3 weeks ago. My dad is of course suffering and can’t believe the person he spent over 60 years with has gone. I wish he had the internet but he’s never shown any interest in it. He could join a group like this for support.
I too lost my darling hub almost 12 years ago quite suddenly. I am here to tell you it does get better, but it will take time. Please draw comfort from your lovely marriage and remember that not many people get to spend precious time with a soulmate. Eventually you will be able to smile at your memories and it won’t be so painful. Your home may bring you comfort, but if not you can change it - but only when you feel ready.
Sending you strength and hope.