I lost my husband 3 weeks ago, he was my soulmate and the only person i loved and the only person I had ever been with, but he was taken so quickly, and I miss him so much, and I really don’t think I want to carry on without my darling husband.
Dear Barlaw, I am so very sorry for your loss. I am more than two and a half years along my grief journey and when I look back to those early days, where you are now, it’s almost a blur. I remember saying to a friend " How do I move forward from this?" Of course there is no definite answer to that question. But I have moved forward and you will too. We have no choice. We move forward carrying our men in our hearts always. My love for my husband grows stronger and stronger each day. How is that even possible? I don’t know but it is. I have my coping strategies, one of these being a journal in which I write to my husband. I tell him anything and everything, what’s happening in life, how much I love him, miss him. This journal has been my biggest and most helpful strategy. I get such comfort from writing things down and when I occasionally look back over past writings I can see how far I have come. I know others on this site also keep a journal. There are times when I can’t wait to get to my journal, it really is like rushing in to tell my husband about my day. Perhaps a journal is something you could try Barlaw.
It’s far too early for you yet but if I may tell you that I can now laugh again, sing again, dance again. I won’t lie to you though, everything I do is tainted with a sadness and a longing for my man but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Where I go, my man comes too. As I have said before, my husband may have died but he’s not dead.
Sending you love, strength and understanding. Xxxx
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Good morning Kate I have just read your post and you are so like me [ a bit younger though] I love my Ron more and more so I do believe that absence makes the heart grow stronger. I am 3years down the line on this horrible journey of grief. I have such a good family and friends and I really don"t know what I would do with out them. As you say you have no choice but as time goes on every day is tainted with sadness but I know Ron would be proud of me carrying on. But oh Boy it is hard but as you say Ron is with me where ever I go. In the early days you never think you survive but as you say you do. Love and hugs to you. xx Carol xxx
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Dear Crazy_Kate,
Many many thanks for your kind words, your right about the journal, I’ve already started one and yes it does help, it’s a private thing just meant for my Pete, the problem is that I’m so angry with the doctors and the system, he broke his back 4 yes ago and he struggled so much, as my step daughter said, my dad was broken now he’s mended, but that doesn’t help, I just go through the motions of being alive, just take one day at a time x
HI Kate again hope you understood my message when I said a bit younger though I meant you are younger than me not me younger, LOL. xxx
I understood Carol. I quite liked it actually 
I think that perhaps we are alike, in our attitude to this horrible situation and also in our beliefs. I like to think that our men would be proud of us. Life was never going to be long enough for my David, he had so much to do, so I now have to live my life for the both of us. Always looking for his approval in everything I do, carrying out our plans etc.
Stay strong dear Carol. 
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Hello Barlaw. I’m glad you’ve started your journal and I agree they are very private, just between us and our men. I hope you get as much comfort from it as I do from mine. Also I hope you find comfort in this forum. Comfort in knowing you are not alone in your suffering. If you have time trying trawling back through old conversations, there are some excellent posts. The people on here are beautiful, inside and out, with enormous understanding. Stay strong.
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