I lost my dad about 3 years ago and I still have such a angry , numb feeling towards myself in which I felt back then. I still can’t believe this has happened especially so soon and so sudden. I always think what ‘if’ and I just feel such a mess everytime I think like that. I look at past photos and videos and I know it’s just a memory and it won’t bring that person back but it just makes me feel so low and upset. People say there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel which is full of positivity and happiness but I always think that the light is grief which just grows bigger and bigger the closer you get to it.

Does anyone know of any coping mechanism that can potentially help me ?

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Hello Shi, you do sound that your grief is with you and you are not dealing with your emotions. You don’t say if you have had any form of counselling but even if you have then I would recommend you take a look at getting help. Grief takes many different forms and because we are all different we all react differently. Please don’t beat yourself up and constantly looking for reasons to feel guilty. Ask yourself if your dad would want you to make yourself unhappy and guilty about things that you have no control over. Please think about ask for some help just so you can see that the future is brighter.
Take care S xx


Hi @SusieM . Yes grief is definitely with me and has been for quite some time now . I haven’t had any counselling because the people I’ve been recommend are just so busy and they can’t take on any more people which is just a shame. Thank you for your kind words but sometimes it’s just so annoying and frustrating that I’m feeling like this and I feel like I can’t get on with my day. I always wonder if I could of done more to make him better etc and then suddenly I just break down again……
He definitely wouldn’t like to see me upset or struggling but I guess sometimes your emotions play a huge part in your life and sometimes it just can’t be controlled . Thank you so much though for providing the links . I feel like it’s now time to seek for help and make myself feel more happier than what I am feeling now.

Hi Shi, I’m having an awful day but just wanted to say hi and let you know about the shrine I did for my mam (see BUILDING A SHRINE FOR MY MAM). It helped me to feel close to her when I’m sitting watching tv with all the candles on, like she’s there with me. But it’s not helping me today, now. I’m just too upset. I can’t imagine not feeling like this. I wish I’d gone with her. She left me behind. People say that when you pass there’s a feeling of absolute blissful happiness like nothing we can experience (unless you feel that when children are born). I hope it’s true, that there’s a better place. I believe in a higher consciousness but until we pass we don’t know what that is. Therapy is helping me to understand the process of grief and that it will soften in time. I can’t imagine ever feeling normal again. Grief counselling helps some people to move forward. But I finding posting on here really does help me feel less alone. People understand and are kind and are comforting if you will accept them. So many broken people. Until it happens to you people have no clue about real pain. I miss my mam so much. She passed in November and I thought I’d started feeling a bit more positive. But it’s all for nothing. Sorry I can’t be more helpful. x