My mum has passed away in april my brother 20 month ago. I cannot cope. I am in a bad way


Dear Cazz2010,
You have had two major losses on a short space of time. There are no words that will make that better or take away your pain. All on here can empathise with your grief journey and reading other people’s stories can sometimes help you to know that you are not alone. Well done for taking the first step to post on here. I hope you find some good advice to help you find your way.
I don’t know your situation or if you have any support network, but if you have got one do use it. If you haven’t got friends or family to support you, do speak to your GP or try to get some bereavement counselling. There is no easy route and I’m sure you have heard many times that everyone’s journey is different and unique.
When I’m going through a rough patch I just tend to withdraw, cry when I need to and just feel the emotion. I know the storm passes in time until the next one hits.
When I’m struggling, to help me maintain a sense of self and feel some sort of achievement, I write down three things I want to achieve for the day. Sometimes they are fairly ambitious but during really bad times they might simply be to get up, feed myself and make the bed. Do whatever feels right for you. Only you know how you truly feel.
Sending you a virtual hug and wishing you courage and strength to see you through. Take care x

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Hi @Caz2010, I am so sorry to read about your mum and your brother. I’m glad you were able to join our community here as I’m sure you will find others who can relate to the way you are feeling.

As JJBee suggests, bereavement counselling is well worth looking into if you haven’t already. It can often be a lot easier to talk with a professional counsellor about your feelings. I’m not sure if you are aware, but Sue Ryder offers a free bereavement counselling service. If you would like to find out more, you can do so here.

Sue Ryder also recently launched a Grief Self-Help Service which includes information, personal stories, and interactive tools designed to help you deal with your loss.

Another good place to get support is Cruse Bereavement. They offer a helpline, email support, counselling and support groups through their local services. Contact them on 0808 808 1677, helpline@cruse.org.uk or via their website

Please remember Samaritans are always available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.

I do hope you find our community helpful. Keep reaching out and please know that we’re here for you.

Take care,


Online Community team

Thanku for ure reply. My go says that Marie curie should have been in touch by now but they haven’t. He said they will offer me counseling which I don’t no how I will do it as it’s in the phone. I no I will struggle to chat. As I feel my throat is shut when try chat about it. Just got to wait and seex

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