Hi I’ve just visited Andrew’s grave for the first time since his funeral last week. My friend wanted to say her goodbyes. We had a chat and I told him all our news. And encouraged him to misbehave wherever he is. Does anyone think I’m crazy. I’ve grieved twice once when he had his accident and now. I’m in a daze at the moment and am lost. I’ve joined u3a as I’m.interested in family history but they do hold other courses. So I’m.hoping to meet some like minded people there. I feel very confused and alone. My family live far but I have many friends but I can only use so much of their time. I’m watching a lot of crop on TV. Our local pub is fantastic but I don’t want to spend all my time in there.


You arent crazy at all, not that it’s anything to do with me or anyone else. Many of us talk to our lost ones, I talk to my wife once or twice a day about both important and unimportant things (like the price of haddock!!). Her ashes sit just by my chair, and I often touch and stroke it during these conversations.
U3a is a brilliant resource because it not only gives you an interest, but you make loads of new friends. I bought a ukulele and learnt to play with them.
Be patient because the daze and confusion will ease, and you will start getting more joy out of your life, but it takes time and lots of little steps.
One of the best things I did was to think about how I would like my new life to be, and write it down so I can keep reminding myself. I’m treating myself next week by doing something I’d wanted to do for years, I’ve hired a mobile home and I’m off touring the Outer Hebrides with my two little dogs. I’ve also got involved with rescuing hedgehogs.
You could also do some charity work, or even better, get a dog (or combine the two and help a dog charity)
So grit your teeth and go and grab the opportunities for your new life!! You told Andrew to be mischievious, he would want you to do the same!

It takes time, but your note tells me you are already being positive. Good luck!!

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