Hi my name Neil my wife died on 23 October age 55 my life’s empty today’s been a bad day
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Sorry you have had to join this club, but you’re in the right one. It is so early for you and the days are slow and the pain raw.
Take it in small steps. Hour at a time and if your being offered support, please take it.
It is hard and it’s a long road, one we are all walking along. Some just starting, some way ahead. Keep reaching out, someone will be here listening.
We can’t take away your pain but we can support you.
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Neil, hang in… sorry is not an appropriate word…It is so recent for you. I remember everyday was spending in extreme pain (physical and emotional) from my heart area. Just allow yourself to cry, scream, argue with God, talk to her…I come to believe that our beloved ones are still around spiritually… albeit not visibly seen.
@Westgoughton so sorry you’ve had to join this awful club Neil. Can’t promise that it’s easy, but talking to people who know how you are feeling does help.
Had your wife been poorly, or was it very sudden?
Sending you love
Thanks I still tex my wife. bad day today upset plus I had drink last night with some my work mates and I feel terrible about that one my wife’s friends Would like me Xmas markets next week with yourself and husband but don’t think be right
My wife had cancer for 9 years in bones but that was under control.couple years ago progressed to the liver then everything went down hill my world just ripped apart
Can anyone tell me does get better
Hi does things get better having bad day today
Can someone reply to me then I know I’m doing things right my wife did internet stuff because I’m rubbish
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I am just over 5 months and it has got better but some days can still be really bad. I still cry at least once a day. You will find gradually you learn to live with the grief. There will be peaks and troughs. I find Sundays really bad. Take any support that is offered and remember your GP.
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Not sure that ‘better’ is the correct word, but it works for want of another - I lost my June 3 years ago and I miss her every day, but realise that I’m on my own now, (and I cry most days) . I get by staying busy, having things to do so I don’t have to think about my situation, probably a form of avoidance. Pudding is right - look for support, have you tried your local Hospice? They may offer a beareavent councilling service. There may also be a beareavment group in your area - church and/or undertaker can advise. The good(?) thing about them is that you don’t have to exlain, the people there are in the same ‘club’ and understand without you saying.
I think you are right. Better isn’t the right word. It is greater acceptance that this is how it is now. I just have to get on with it. I have been accepted for grief counselling but am still waiting for it to kick in. I have just about everybody else. Doctor, occupational therapists and physio therapists. Didn’t get in with anti depressants. Can’t have sleeping tablets. Norman was my carer so I have had to find ways of doing what he did. Even had Age Uk and the village agents in to help.
Hi thanks to everyone replies I think you will be sick me going on
No we will not be sick of you. We have all been there and in the early days were exactly like you. It is what this forum is here for
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Just to say, we are all here for you. All of us have different experiences but have all list s special person. Keep posting. I post when I have no one to talk to. Xx
Hi really bad in work got upset on my one mates first thing since I went out with some old work friends on Saturday night think I got spiked because I can’t remember things can’t remember getting home I’m 55 and not kid .like someone pressed button in my because I’m so down and keep getting upset
Hi just going work feel a bit better than yesterday but I still feel completely empty and lost
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@Westgoughton Keep doing what you can, part of it is we simply cannot accept that our beloved is not here anymore (at least it is this way for me), and then I must find a way to keep our relationship alive… one thing I do is to light the LED candle every night (not wax candle can cause fire due to our state o mind). And this helps me somewhat, it sooths me, one small thing I can still do for him… Perhaps you could try ? I learned this from another widowed man…so I followed his example… and it actually gives me some comfort. And I also talk out loud to him… some say that they can hear and see us…Hope this help…you will find your little ways to deal with your pain…