In 2017 I lost Gill my cousin and best friend. She was only 54. That was April. In July my sister died at the age of 52. I struggled but carried on. In September another cousin died, he was only 54. Heart broken I thought I just have to carry on. In December I found my brother 52 in our garage. I had to give cpr even though i knew he wasn’t coming back to me. In the middle of arranging his funeral i got a phone call to say our youngest had died 44. I just couldn’t carry on going. I broke and i started drinking and now I hate myself


Hello @Tricia23 ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling like you broke and could not carry on and have been drinking to help you manage the grief. I’m so sorry to hear about all the losses you have suffered this is heartbreaking for you. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

You might also want to have a look at the following article - Understanding Grief, Alcohol and Your Brain - Whats your Grief

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


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