struggling after 4 months of losing my mum… my mental health is shocking… lots of different things plague me… thinking about our life before… during her treatment… after… the deterioration… the fear… pain … sadness… helplessness…angry she was stolen from us at 73… my mum… nanny… our future lives together… ripped away… my heart is broken… and my soul hurts so much
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Hello @welshchicken81,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
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Hello @welshchicken81, I soo feel your pain, & can relate to your heartache, bless you 
I am 32 days into this horrible grief journey for my mam, but she would so kick my backside & tell me off if she could see me now, eyelids permanently swollen because of my tears, 10lb weight loss, couldn’t really afford to lose that, & a whole load of new wrinkles!
I didn’t wash or change my clothes for 3 days straight, hair hasn’t been washed or even combed for 11 days, I honestly don’t care, because to do ‘normal, routine’ things feels like I am forgetting her, I know what I have just wrote won’t make sense to some people, but we all handle grief differently
Take care of yourself, much love
Jean x
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I know exactly how what you mean, I was like that in January of this year. Things get more bearable and work is a distraction but the sadness is always there. It’s just an awful thing to get to grips with, this greif. I miss my mam so much Just do what feels right and try to look after yourself
Wishing you well
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