Hi I am new to this but I will give it a go I lost my mum 3 years ago she was 54 years old at the time when she passed away she pass away when Covid was around so I culod not say good bye I have people around me tell me when she died was get her funeral out of the way then I need to get on with my life but it is not has esay has that I was really close to my mum and I miss her so much I have got no one to talk about my mum because I have been told not to talk about because of my two kids that I have no one around me understands how it feel because they have still get they mum I just don’t know what I should feel and what I should not feel about my mum my mum is the fist person I have lost
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Im so sorry for your loss Kirsty - i lost my mum nearly 6 months ago and we were incredibly close. I simply cant imagine what it must have been like to lose your Mum and not be able to be there because of covid restrictions. 
When i hear that people told you to put it behind you and get on with your life, and not to talk about your mum, that makes me soooo angry! That is totally insensitive and just darn WRONG. Please don’t feel you cant talk about your Mum- whoever is telling you that my guess is they have never lost someone close to them. Please feel free to ignore their advice! You should absolutely talk about your mum, and about your feelings. If youve just had to bottle it up that does more harm in the long run. And dont your children deserve to know about their lovely Gran/Nan so that they dont forget her?
This site is full of people who’ve lost a loved one and know how hard it is to keep going every day, so keep posting here - you’re not alone. And i would also suggest do some research into whether there are any support groups in your local area for bereaved people - it can be a really useful way of meeting others in the same situation and by hearing others stories it helps you realise others are on the same journey as you 
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It’s my husband Sade of the family like his mum I was really Close to my mum she was they all my life I could tell my mum everything that was gone on in my life and she used to give me one of her big hugs she always knew how to Mack everything better and help me in life my mum had a illness call Huntington’s disease she got disease with it when my sister was 12 years old and it just got worse so she was in a care home I use to go see her every day and then Covid come she got Covid two and she also had pneumonia and put her on end of life because she couldn’t fight pneumonia and she died on the 19th of March 2021 of pneumonia in her sleep so people say I can’t move on because I am suffering from guilt because I could not say bye to my mum don’t get me wrong I do but I have still not come to terms with my mum passing I can’t even have my mum pictures on my liverom wall were I had them because my husband mum seid I should have them they with my kids around and that I should put them in my bedroom and his mum has still got her mum and dad so they won’t understand how it feel to loss your mum like I have his mum has only lost friends but she still has both of her parents
Im sorry, but i disagree with your mother in law, and ultimately its you and your husbands home, you do what feels right for you! Its normal and natural to have photos up of loved ones we miss, i think it sends a positive message to the children that death is not something hidden away. Depending on their ages they may have memories of your mum - how confusing is it if their grandmother suddenly disappears and no one talks about her as if she never existed?! Heaven forbid anything should happen to your mother in law but is that what she wants to happen when she passes one day - that shes packed away and forgotten?!! I really hope that your husband will support you in whatever you want to do - ultimately shes YOUR Mum and you have the right to remember her however you wish. Hopefully speaking to others here or finding a support group will help you realise that wanting to remember your Mum is completely normal and you have every right to do that. Take care
I completely agree with everything Ally6 has said its totally unfair of ppl to say you shouldnt talk about your mum or have pics up my dad died 6 months ago an i talk about him all the time with my wife it helps me to talk about him as it keeps his memory alive for me an i miss him so much it wud make me even sadder if i felt i couldnt talk about him i honestly dont think ppl understand if they havent lost a parent it really is so much harder than anyone ever wud of thought it cud be.
His mum dose not understand how it feel when you have had a really close relationship with your mum to lose that one person who has always been they for you all your life and got you froth all your up and down and grat advice I have really good memories of my mum my mum love all her 11 kids she never treat us any different she was cand caring loveing give us everything that she could loss her that day I lost a part of me
All I get of his mum is will my kids only seen my mum tow so the kids won’t of know my mum that well but I won’t to tack my kids to go see my mum has much has I won’t to but I got told not to tack them because of my illness but my daughter has remebud my mum and my daughter is 9 years old so she dose remember my mum from when I tuck her and her brother to see my mum and that what I say to my husband she wood not like it but f I did to his mum he wood not like it
Your children shouldn’t have to forget your mum no one shud it seems to me u need to tell ya husband and mother in law how your feeling sometimes you have to put yaself first your grieving an its really difficult they shud understand that.