Lost 3 family member in less than 12months.

I’ve lost 3 family members in less than 12 months and my heart is truly broken. I’m numb, lost in a sea of depression and loneliness. No one seems to be able to reach the inner hurt I feel. It’s buried deep inside and I’m worried that it will never be at peace.
It’s been 12 months since my brother in law died and 5 months since my second sisters husband died and only 6 weeks since my Mother died and I just can’t stop wishing I could talk to my Mom who understood me and always cared about what was happening in my life.
Where do I go with my grief? My family life has been totally destroyed both my sister are grieving and also grieving for the loss also of their mother too.
My emotions are all over the place, some days I feel strong but other days I’m heart broken and so incredibly depressed.

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Hi Julie, you have been through such a tough time, to lose one family member is bad enough but 3 very, very hard, of course losing your Mum is so hard, she is the one person who has been there all of your life and loved you whatever, your poor sisters are really going through it too, perhaps in time you could do with some counselling, but only when you feel ready, it will slowly get better, take a day at a time, sending love Jude xx

Oh my gosh I am so sorry I won’t say I know your pain. Because everyone’s pain is different. I lost my adult daughter at 32 years old she committed suicide that was 7 years ago and I just recently lost my 22-year-old son in a car accident. I understand how you feel as far as your emotions going from one extreme to the next. Most days you want to cry other days you’re anxious other days you don’t feel like getting out of bed, and sadness and depression seem to come and go… I don’t know if this will help, but it is all normal the way you are feeling. I know it’s hard for me to know that it’s normal, because it still hurts deeply. I hope you find this site helpful. I just join probably 3 days ago and it helps if you ever need to talk I am here.

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Rachel, I’m so sorry for your loss, that must be very, very hard for you. The loss of your children must be extremely painful. I can’t begin to understand how you must be feeling. My Mother had lived a good life had 5 children who loved her dearly and I’m grateful for the life she created for us. She was in pain in the end and suffering… it was clearly her time to leave us. However it’s the hole she has left behind that can never be filled and that must be the same where your children are concerned.
Thank you for reaching out it’s much appreciated to know someone cares about another’s grief. I can’t give you any answers but I can also be here to listen. My biggest problem is not sleeping because of my deep anxiety a feeling continually of panic of being out of control. I feel like my GP doesn’t understand or care and I don’t know where to turn next, even my husband doesn’t seem to understand me and that’s not helping either.
I pray you find some small comfort in this sharing of our grieving… I just pray more than anything that some day things will feel a little better for us. That’s all currently I think we can hope for.
Massive virtual hugs Rachel. Xx

Thank you, it’s really been tough watching my sister and my Mom suffer through the loss of my brother in laws. However of course the final blow was kissing Our Mother. She hadn’t been well since weirdly turning 90yrs last June, it’s as her body just said enough.
I’m reaching out to find some counselling but they all keep quoting 2 months before anyone will get back to me and that’s a long time when you’re grieving to wait.
I’m trying to hold on in there but this deep pain and anxiety about life won’t leave me.
My friends partner also sadly passed away while they were making plans for their retirement and it’s really rocked my world telling me that nothing is permanent and things can happen just like that and I’m really struggling with that too. How our worlds and security can be taken away just like that.

I’m so sorry Julie
Life can be so cruel
I loss my husband and mum all within 9 months of each other
The 2 people that I loved more than life itself
You do learn to live with it
You will always have the heartache
But day by day you do get stronger
You do learn to except your life without them
Which is so hard
Sharing does make a big difference to enables you to release your emotions
So when your sad cry
But also try and remember the wonderful times you had with them
Some people never have that type of love
I was so lucky to have 25 years with my husband and a loving caring wonderful mum
So when I have a bad day which we all get I try and think of the wonderful memories I made with them
That sometimes gives me comfort
Keep talking on here Julie
The good thing we all understand we do not judge on how your feeling
Because we get it
You take care

Your mum would hate you feeling like this
You are a strong person Julie
Look what you have been through
You have managed
Take some time out for you now
You need some me time
It sounds like you have been there for everyone else
Now your grieving
If you can while your waiting for your counselling
Try and do something new
Just something different to focus on
Like I said before the heartache never leaves you
But your brain needs to focus on something or you end up going into that dark place