Hi
I am new here. I lost my gorgeous fiance Derek on 21st May.
He is and always will be my world. I am finding it hard to do even the simplist of things. I do try, I go to work, haven’t walked the dog properly, and my flat is a mess, I was always house proud.
I cry all day, I just feel like everyday is day 1 of losing him.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief is such a terrible emotion and you are very early on in grief. I t is common to lack motivation for anything that is non essential, and sometimes even the important things are put on hold. If you are coping with work then that is an accomplishment in itself. I hope you have good support from family or friends as they can help with practical issues. Concentrate on seeing your dog is ok and don’t worry about housework, that will eventually fall into place. Be kind to yourself, you’re going through one of the the worst periods of your life. Take care.
Dear Pauline I am sorry to hear about your fiancé. Losing ones love is the most horrifyingly painful thing to ever happen to us. I hope you have support from friends and family, it not easy to hold down a job in this situation so you are doing well to keep going. I hope you find some solace here where everyone understands the pain of a bereavement
Thinking of you and sending hugs
Wishing you all the best Tom
Hi Pauline6
I am so sorry to read about your loss. Every day being day 1 is by no means unusual. There is a tiresome phrase frequently used on this website that you should take things day by day. Actually it’s very true or sometimes hour by hour because what you have lost is your normal life and now, like it or not, you are building a new one. Little by little you will create new routines and they will become normal. The ‘new’ normal might not be as good as the old normal but at least you will have something and it will take as long as it takes, everyone is different.
I lost my wife in December 2024 after 48 years married and I’m still working on my new normal.
For now look after yourself and your dog, you both depend on and need YOU!
Keep posting your thoughts on this website because it really helps.
I lost my wife 3 weeks ago. I cry, I’m numb, lost. I’m sorry I don’t have any words of wisdom. I just wanted you to know that you aren’t alone.
Thank you so so much for reaching out. Feel some people think 4 months should be more than a sufficient time to grieve.
Xxxx
How do we carry on when we just want them back? It might sound creepy but I sleep cuddling his urn, he is next to me then xxx
Hi Pauline, im so sorry for the loss of your fiancé, ..who are these people who think 4 months is enough, thats crazy, we will always grieve our loved ones, 4 months is no time at all, at this point you’re probably still in the numb stage, i lost my husband in March, and ill never get over losing my precious husband …sleeping next to your fiancée s urn, what ever brings you the slightest comfort , why not..take care and God bless you
When my son left the house today, probably for the last time because he’s gone to uni, I took a picture of him holding his mother’s ashes and a photo of him the day he was born. It felt right.
Hi Pauline6
It’s not creepy at all. It depends on your beliefs I suppose but I never felt my wife’s spirit left me. I talk to her all the time.
