Lost at the moment

Good afternoon. On the 29/5/24 I lost my soul mate and love of my life Susan to melanoma cancer.
Sue had a melanoma removed 14 years ago and was doing well until 2 years ago.
Sue had weakness in hand and facial droop so the gp sent her to hospital ? Stroke. The hospital Fonda scan and found 3 tumours on the brain. They admitted her and did an mri and found 2 more tumours on the back of sternum and one on each adrenal gland. Sue came home and was ok for few days then got confused with vomiting. Sue was taken by ambulance to city oncology ward . Next day I was told sue had weeks to live. She was seen by professor Patel who threw these targeting tablets at her which brought her another two years. In those years I ticked off her bucket list of lots of places she wanted to go. Then I’m march this year the targeting tablets stopped working so they started her on immunotherapy, unfortunately the treatment didn’t work and slowly I had to watch my loved one deteriorate and pass away at the hospice. I feel so lost at the moment as I put everything into sue and looking after her , I don’t know who I am and what my purpose is at the moment…. Just wanted to off load to people that understand what I’m going through

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Hello, you have my heartfelt sympathy. My husband died two weeks and one day ago. I only joined this site 2 days ago. I have found it a comfort to learn that I am not alone on this awful journey and that my feelings are normal. I hope you find some solace in reading posts from people further on. It’s only when you suffer the terrible blow of losing someone you loved so absolutely, not to mention your future that you can understand the devastation. Xx

So sorry to read about your husband. It must be really hard for you with it being so sudden. I feel blessed that we was given 2 years to make so many memories. But even thou you know it is coming it does not make it any easier.

@Bobster

Sorry for the loss of your wife :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

It’s 8 weeks today that I lost my partner of 18 years :pleading_face:

Glad you found this community it’s really supportive. Keep reaching out on here is always someone to talk to if you want to share how you are feeling or if you are lonely.

How lovely you got two years of memories, that’s special :heart:

I am 56 my husband was 65, he had a heart attack 8 weeks ago at my feet on the living room floor, one min are talking about the day, the next min he is having CPR, he was in icu for two days, I was kind of given a bit of hope, but then his organs failed and i had to watch his life support be turned off! I functioned on diazepam in the day and sleeping tablets at night for the first 4 weeks, My boss came to his funeral and probably thought I was coping and should return to work!! I was off my head on pills and booze at the funeral ! I got signed off for another 4 weeks! I am back in work tomorrow i really don’t know how i will feel< I work for a coach holiday company and seeing elderly people with their husbands etc when they moan to me about "not having the room they wanted etc, I am either going to cry or snap, at least they still her their husband. He was the love of my life after 2 crap marriages , he taught me what unconditional love meant, the thought of spending maybe 30 years without him and alone, as I can’t ever be with anyone else no one will come close , in my eyes and am still married to my Nick x

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I hope it goes better than you expect it to tomorrow @Jane15. Lots of deep breaths before you react to negative people and try to put a protective invisible shield around you. You may be surprised and have an OK day. I wish you well.

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I’m so sorry for your loss.

I lost my husband 15 weeks ago after 42 years together. He only lived for 6 short weeks after diagnosis and the devastation I feel is indescribable.
But I do find posting on here helps.
We are all on the same horrendous grief journey, all at different stages and all ready to listen and give support. We all understand because were all going through it.

Sending big hugs x