Lost both my parents together

Hi my name is Paul i am 47 years old and been going through worst time of my life last 9 months or so. I lost my mum to a brain bleed last Nov she came in one morning all happy by afternoon she was gone in seconds my heart was broken in half when she died as i so close to her. My poor dad was so ill he didn’t realize she was dying as he had late stage cancer, he was never told about until it was to late. He died in early Dec last year day before my mothers funeral i had to go to say goodbye to mum knowing my beloved dad was dead as well.


Hi paul

I’m so sorry to read about the loss of both your parents late last year. I lost my dad nearly 23 years ago but thought I would have my mum forever.
Like your mum, mine was happy in the morning, enjoying life and gone within minutes to a sudden brain bleed.
This was 2 years ago and it has changed me so much as a person. I still cant believe it happened.
I just try and get on with life by working, running a home and looking after my teenage daughter.
How are you coping?


Hello Paul, such a sad time for you and my heart goes out to you because I know just how heart rendering it is to loss two people you love in such a short space of time. We looked after my parents in law and they went within 28 days of each other. It takes a lot of getting over but that’s just the sadness because you never get over that sad, loss feeling. These people were such a big part of our lives, they will always be with us and we still love them even though they are not physically here. Remember the good happy times and the joy they brought into your life. Take care, I will be thinking of you. S xx

Hi Cheryl

So sorry for the loss of your mum in the same way as mine hope your getting all support you need… I don’t understand how you can taken so quickly, I thought strokes you least gave a fighting chance of surviving. My mum was gone I was told before she reach hospital.

Can a brain bleed to this so quickly to you?

I am not coping well keep getting flash backs of both of those horrific days when they both died. My dad had late stage cancer, and it could of been diagnosed 6 months before but these useless doctors ignored his symptoms. They did same with mum for years she had in and around her eyes for years before she died. The day she died she was complaining that her eye pain was as bad as ever

It is so sad when you lose those people who were your anchors. I lost my dad when I was 40 and now 10 years on my mother has dementia so to all intents and purposes, I have lost the mum that I knew. It doesn’t matter what age we are, we still don’t feel old enough to be around without our parents to care and guide us. I have now lost my husband too (suddenly and unexpectedly) only 6 days after my mum was settled into a home. My world is now unrecognisable. All we can do is take one day at a time, sometimes one breath at a time. You will find people here who are very supportive and you can sign up for counselling. Take care

Thanks Susie your words mean a lot I am devasted it may be 9 months ago this happened but it may as be 9 hours ago. They say time is a great healer not to me it is actually I feel worse now as I am missing them so much.

Thanks Jules so sorry for your loss its must be awful what your going through I hope your family are giving you all the support you need. I am 47 I never got married or had kids I should off, I was with mum most of my life and dad. I do regret not getting out earlier but for personal reasons it never happened. I don’t regret been so close to them but now they long around feels like life not worth living.

It is difficult when they were your whole world. I am only a few years older than you so I know that when your life has been so stable with those people around you for so long it is shattering when your whole world changes. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other to keep going. My friends and family have been very supportive but it’s not like having your closest ones with you. Take care

Hi Paul

I already knew about sudden death as my dad had a fatal heart attack when he was 53 whilst waiting for my mum to bring him a cup of tea in bed. He was dead by the time she returned.

But I thought it wouldnt happen to me again. My mum was 74, energetic and full of life. She was actually in hospital having a chat with her consultant regarding an operation when she suddenly became unconscious. They whisked her in for a scan, found a brain bleed and told me when I arrived that she would die shortly.
I had only gone home to wait for her to call me to come back and collect her. She was only going for an hours appointment
A PM was done and her brain bleed was ruled nothing to do with her hospital appointment. A complete coincidence
However I do wonder whether it would have happened if she had been simply watching the tv. I’m told it would have done but I will never know.

I dont really have support but I’ve learnt to deal with this alone rather than burden my partner or daughter any more. Mum is always on my mind and I dont think I will ever get used to her being taken.

I thought she had another 20 years of life.

I hope you are getting the support you need but I think we all go through this alone really. People never really understand i dont feel.


Hi Paul,

I’m so sorry you lost both parents so suddenly…life sure is unfair and I’m so sorry I can’t find the words at the min…but I just wanted to reach out to you to say I’m sorry…I’ve lost both my parents …and although an adult I still feel like a kid at times…

Sending you comfort…grief is difficult and painful , I know :pray:

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Hi Paul. I read your post and just wanted to offer my sympathy for all that’ve been through. I wish there was more I could say other than you are not on your own.

My dear mum died last November aged 93. My dad died 32 years ago, aged 62, the age I am now. For 31 years it was more or less just mum and me. I worked and we did our own things but I’ve never been married or had kids.

Mum was my best friend and I am still bereft without her. I have good days and bad days and good weeks and bad weeks. I try to put a good face on things and keep busy but I haven’t really ‘moved on’ and am not sure I even want to in a way. I think we feel this way because we were so close to our parents.

Take care.