My mum passed away on 4th Feb and I’m struggling. She is still with the coroner as she has Asbestos cancer and they are still deciding on whether to do a post mortem. Mum deteriorated over the space of 2 days so although we knew she was dying it wasnt expected as quickly as it happened. I feel completely numb like i dont feel she has passed if that makes sense but I feel guilty for feeling like this. I was really expecting mum to be with me for my 40th birthday next week and I know its going to be so hard as she wrote my card out before she died and also got me a present. I lost my dad 6 years ago and i still miss him so much we were extremely close.
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I’m really sorry to hear about the loss of your mum and dad @penders. It sounds like you were very close to both of your parents and I can hear how much you’re missing them.
It can be really difficult loosing someone so close so suddenly. You mentioned that you feel guilty for feeling this way. I wanted to offer you some reassurance and let you know that how you are feeling is completely valid and it’s understandable to hear that you’re struggling.
Do you have anyone close to you supporting you though this at the moment?
If you’re looking for some more support outside of the online community, you might like to look into our free online bereavement counselling.
I’ve also linked another thread by another member who recently lost their mum too. You can read that here - Everything has changed. There’s also another thread here - Loss my mum.
Be kind to yourself and keep us updated with how you’re feeling. There’s lots of caring people on the community who are always here for you anytime you need someone to talk to 
Hello Penders please take my support and compassion for your losses. You have had it tough losing both parents at a relatively young age and how you are feeling is completely and utterly normal. I lost my Mother 8 weeks ago and remember feeling numb like it hadn’t really happened and she went quick like here one minute gone the next and so there was an element of shock even though we knew she was very poorly. Everything you feel is normal - for you so accept it and know you will get stronger with the days going by. Grief is so up and down and unique to each and every one of us so no two people are ever going to experience it the same as our relationships are all so different with those we’ve lost. Please don’t feel guilty as you have nothing to feel guilty about. Be kind to yourself and be patient too. Hugs from RedPoppy
My heart gos out to you after reading your story big hugs be strong x