I’m new to this but thought I’d give it a try, I my mum got diagnosed with lung cancer last may, told with treatment she had 9/12 months. So she started treatment and responded well but we knew it was terminal it was just prolonging her life. My dad passed suddenly in July so we where grieving for him and still am then in November whilst I was on holiday my mum went down hill rapidly and I didn’t make it back on time for her passing, I’m angry all the time, I push people away.im back at work but I feel lonely and miss both my parents so much it hurts every day. It will be their 59th wedding anniversary soon then my birthday then Mother’s Day, not sure I’ll cope that week as it’s the first for everything since they both passed.
Hi, I’m so sorry for your loss. I feel very similar to yourself. I lost both of my parents within 3 months of eachother and I miss them so much it hurts. I’ve put so much pressure on myself to be strong for others but now I’m really struggling. I suppose I’m still in denial, it all feels like a nightmare and each day I wake up it hits me all over again. Do you have other family around you?
I do have other family I have both brothers but they work away from home. They are also struggling and like yourself I was the strong one but now I’m starting to struggle. I have zero patience a
Box I get angry very quickly which is not like me at all, I also think I’m still in denial.
What about you?
I have 2 children who were also extremely close to my mum and dad so I’ve been focusing on them more than myself. Some people have been so supportive and yet others have surprised me and haven’t been much of a support. They say let me know when you want to catch up. That’s the problem, i dont feel like doing anything. It’s such an effort to even try and be happy. Our lives have just been turned upside down and will never be the same.
I totally get that. Life will not be the same again, I’m struggling with not being able to call or visit my parents, this weekend I need to clear the house out, we have been putting it off, it’s like another part of them has gone if that makes sense. Sometimes having kids to focus on is a distraction but I also now know we need to focus on ourselves and our grief. I’m okay some days, other days I’m a nightmare to live with. My parents grand kids are also struggling and I have been focussing on them instead of myself, but that’s how I am, I look after others then I take a step back and question why nobody looks out for me.
Me, my brother and sister have very recently had to clear mum and dads house. This isn’t a process which can be rushed and it’s so emotionally draining. I’m sure like myself you have many memories of them in their home. The sale of my parents house goes through this week and the thought of not being able to just go back whenever I like hurts so much.
I’ve kept alot of their clothes to have memory blankets made for my children. That might be an idea for the grandchildren? I’ll be thinking of you. Make time for yourself, this is something I’m currently trying to do. This group being my first step.
Their grand kids took clothes after my dad passed and they have some of my mums stuff too. Like you it will be odd not being able to go when I like, but yes I have my memories and I have photos of them both set up where I talk to them, some people might think that’s crazy but it gives me comfort.
I’m dreading clearing the house we have put it off so many times. I’m trying to take time for me but it’s not easy working and having dogs along with my step kids. I do walk the dogs on my own to clear my head at times and I’ve just joined a gym as I heard exercise is great for the mind.