Lost both parents

Not sure where to start, I lost my Mum 5 years ago after her cancer had come back for a third time. She first got sick when I was 9 and I didn’t really know what was happening. She got sick again when I was 19 but somehow she fought it. But 4 years later she got sick again and she couldn’t fight this time. We watched her suffer for 8 months. After she passed I didn’t have a minute to grieve as my dad and brother were a mess so I just did what my mum told me to do and looked after them and put them first and I did this for years. Last Nov my dad fell and my brother and I watched him die at home. The paramedics started his heart again but he spent 18 days in a coma until we decided to turn off his life support machine. All of a sudden I’m 28 years old and no parents. My brother is 3 years older than me but he’s not very proactive when it comes to these sorts of situations. I love him but he has no idea to handle my being emotional. My parents told us from a young age that we would lose them young and to always stick together. Both my parents have a lot of siblings but they are of no help to us as they accused us of killing my dad on the day he passed. I feel so lonely without my parents. Our home is so empty. My brother works from home so he’s always in his office and I lost my job a few months ago and I sit watching tv most says. I feel silly for now missing my mum after 5 years. I don’t know anyone who has lost both parents at such a young age. I feel like I have no one and I’m consumed by loneliness and grief.

Hello Simram, I can understand how low you feel and it’s heartbreaking to here what has occurred in your short life. My first thought was have you any friends, I know you wrote that you have lost your job and at present it will be extremely hard to look for any employment but connecting with old work mates may just help raise your sprites a little. Losing one parent is sad but now with both gone you will feel lonely and so will your bother. Have you considered counselling, Sue Ryder, on the home page you will find details and there’s also Cruse both have a short waiting time but I am sure it would help. You are to young to let this dominate your life and both your parents will have felt very proud of how you have dealt with life over the past few years. Please think what is best for you and what you actually want to do with your life from here on. Remember the world is yours. You been amazing over the past years. Look after yourself and take care, we are always here for you.

1 Like

Hi. I have great friends but when they ask how I am I just reply with I’m ok as I know if I say anything else I feel like I make the situation very awkward. I don’t know how to express how I feel without the situation becoming like that I guess that’s why I joined as I assume it’s easier to speak to people in a similar situation. I was having hypnotherapy which helped a lot but still I feel so lonely.

Simram, I know just how difficult it when people ask how are you or how are doing because really there’s no sensible answer and sometimes you want to turn round and say exactly how you do feel but not politely. Hypnotherapy is good and will definitely help and there are other things that help you relax and help to sort out your feelings. A proper trained counsellor may be able to unblock your emotions and allow you to have a life and at your age you need to think about yourself and have things to look forward to which may mean you have to change things in your life. You are definitely to young to be watching tv during the day but as I said with so many things being closed down going out is more difficult. Spend a little time looking at other posts and see what others say. Keep posting which will give you contact with life outside your front door and going for a short walk, getting some sunshine on your skin gives you a lift. I really want to come and give you a big hug, sorry Sxx