Lost Dad 5 years ago

I lost my Dad and Best Friend 5 years ago in December 2017. I’m not one for talking about feelings so I went to the doctor and got put on medication to cope with looking after my dad whilst he was dying. The medication I was on has recently stopped working and I am in the middle of trying find another that will help me carry on and cope with everyday life. I am now in-between medications and have become very angry and anti-social and have started t realise that I lost my dad and best friend and now have no one. I am feeling very lost, isolated and unwanted. I suffer from anxiety too so my depression mixed with this has made me very agoraphobic and paranoid. I cry all the time at the minute and have started to make people uncomfortable (I have been told) and that makes them not want to talk to me.
I just wondered if anyone else’s grief has taken this long to bubble up to the surface.
I am also my moms carer which doesn’t help with the anxiety or nasty thoughts of losing her. I just don’t know how to deal with all these emotions that have come on all at once.

Hi Natalie, I’m really sorry you are feeling the way you do, there is no time limit on grieving, but suspect the pandemic and the lockdowns won’t have helped you, you are doing the right thing by going to your GP, maybe ask if you could have some counselling on the NHS, Sue Ryder does offer an on line service at the moment, but there is a waiting list for it, there is no right or wrong way to get through the grief you are feeling, I found it got easier over time, it never goes away, but you do learn to live with it, sending love Jude xx

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Hi natalie, I’m really sorry to hear about losing your dad/your best friend, I lost my mum in July this year I cared for her at home for the last 6 weeks so she could be with her family, I miss her so much have cried every day since she passed,I feel guilty shes not here, angry that she’s gone and just so lost, life is so cruel, I’ve never experienced anything like this before, I know I’ll never be the same person again, I’m waiting for counselling with cruse & hoping it will help me, I feel exhausted and I’m not coping like I did before all this happened, my gp signed me off work but didn’t want to put me on any medication, I just take one day at a time, it’s a emotional rollercoaster journey we are all on, this site helps to chat to others that are going through the same feelings, keep messaging on here, hopefully it will help you, thinking of you ,take care
Lynn x

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Thank you so much, I’m sorry about your Mom and yes I have felt better after seeing I’m not alone. Icared for my Dad the last 6 mknths of his life from diagnosis to has passing, it was very hard. My time is getting worse as my mom had to go into hospital suddenly yesterday and have scans and tests and a lumbar puncture, worry is not good when you already have so many emotions going on.

Hi Natalie, I feel you pain and I’m sorry for you loss. I lost my mum and my dad in 2017, mum went in September and dad in November only 7 weeks apart so I know how you feel and how had it is to deal with and carry on.
I never went for mediation but did try Counciling but never really work for myself like you I find it hard to talk feeling but they did suggest walking which did help me maybe try walking it’s nice just getting away from everything for an hour or so just time to yourself.
Even though it’s been 4 years I still get tearful thought things may of gotten better by now, it’s easier but not 100% better if I’m honest but I get strength from my kids that helps a lot.
Talking to strangers helps so if you need a chat for a good moan or get things off your chest please feel free to message I’d be happy to listen anytime.
Take care stray strong J x