Lost dad

I lost my dad two months ago and I am struggling. I cared for him and after losing my mam I couldn’t grieve properly as I tried to keep his spirits up. I am crying all the time and don’t want to be here anymore. I try not to get upset in front of people as I can see they are getting exasperated with me and that I should be coping better but I can’t see this getting any better.


Dear @She

I am sorry to hear of the loss of your dad and that you are struggling. You are still in the early stages of grief and it is a horrible rollercoaster ride of emotions. There will be good days and bad days, all of which is normal. It is ok to cry and in time the crying will cease but this does not mean you forget or love your dad any less. You learn to except your dad is not coming back, it is hard. Grief is a journey to be taken at your pace, there are no time limits. You do need to be gentle with yourself as you are grieving for both of your parents not having grieved for your mum as you were caring for your dad.

There are resources by Sue Ryder which may be of help to you at this time.

There is a useful Grief Guide that contains information to help you understand and cope with your bereavement and grief. When you feel ready, it would be worth having a look at it.

You may wish to consider one to one Counselling. Sue Ryder free online Bereavement Counselling which you may be interested in. It would be worth having a look at it.

There is also a blog on Losing a Parent which may be of help and support to you. You can also connect with members here who have been in a similar situation as yourself.

Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS. This is helpful for family and friends too.

You can connect with members here who have been in a similar situation as yourself by using the search bar above. We understand the pain of losing a loved one.

It might be helpful for you to book an appointment with your doctor to let them know how you feel and to see how they can support you if you have not done so already.

Have you considered talking to the Samaritans who are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year on 116 123? It is a free confidential service and it might help you to talk to someone.

You are not alone, we the Community are all here for you. Keep reaching out here and talking, it will help and we all understand the pain you are going through.

Take care. Sending hugs

Peppers xx

Im so sorry you’ve lost your dad. I am in the same place too. I lost my dad on 13th December. I cared for him until the end. My dad was my world. He moved to the Isle of Wight when his cancer got worse to enjoy living on a boat and island life. We spoke 3 times a day. We were so alike in almost everyway. I am struggling without him. Sometimes all i want is to be with him and those thoughts can be quite frightening. I dont want to talk to family or friends, i dont want to burden them. I dont want to appear like im maoning etc. Im holding life down but holding on xx


I’m very sorry for your loss.

I lost my dad in November 2022, we were incredibly close and I miss him everyday.

It has been five months since I lost my dad and despite keeping myself busy the pain is constant. My brother is not grieving in the same way and I also feel that people don’t understand why I haven’t “moved on”.

You are not alone.

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I’m very sorry for your loss.

I relate to your post. My dad was also my world and i am trying my best to get through each day, it’s extremely difficult.

There are people here who understand.

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Im so sorry too, Katheine. Its so difficult. In the outside, to people, my dad has died, loss is not nice, smile and move on. On the inside, im crumbling. I see my dads last moments flash back all the time, he suffered and thats carried on wirh me now. I smile, i make people laugh, id do anything for anybody if they needed my help. Anything to forget my pain. Thank you for your message, really kind and im sorry youre going through the same xx


Thank you for your reply, Janey.

Grief is very isolating. Society seems to accept that after we lose someone we are sad initially, but soon after it is expected that we focus on the memories and move on. If only it was that easy.

I have also struggled with thoughts of my dad suffering, cancer is so traumatic. Even now, five months on I feel somewhat stuck in the period of September last year when my dad was diagnosed to November when he passed away. It’s so confusing and upsetting. Dad has left a void that will never be filled.



Thank you everyone for your replies, I am trying so hard but today is a really bad day for some unknown reason. I also laugh and talk to everyone as though I am okay as they don’t want my problems. Just knowing other people care is a help. Thank you

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