Lost dad 7 weeks ago, although I have a lovely family - 4 brothers and my mum I’m really struggling after the funeral when everything is supposed to go back to normal
3 Likes
I’m sorry for your loss.
Yes, it’s usually after the funeral once the dust settles, and everyone around you resumes back to their lives that you find yourself struggling the most. I was there, still am. It’s ok if your having a hard time processing your grief. Unfortunately, this is your new normal/reality and it will take time to adjust. Especially if you’ve been fortunate with a consistent love and presence from your dad. To learn how to live life without them feels so strange and uncomfortable, overwhelming and frustrating and just sad. That’s ok. Again, it takes time so please be gentle with yourself. I’m still learning, after having lost my dad in March suddenly - life doesn’t quite feel the same, and I find myself really having to force myself out of the darkness. I’m the beginning, it was so so so unbelievably hard for me. I got into a dark space very quickly unsure of how I was going to navigate this new life… I hated everything! I still struggle, but It’s only been 8 months… it’s tough! But I will get through it. As will you - if you’re able too, maybe start the uncomfortable conversation with your family. Of course it’s difficult to know where everyone is on the scale of let’s talk about it, and I’m avoiding this incredibly painful reality as my way of coping. There is no right way to process, so respect everyone and don’t take any rejection personally. But be brave with your pain, and try and reach out to your mum. Let her comfort you, and each other. Or journal? Or just sit with it, and be objective about the emotions you’re experiencing. You will be ok, even though right now nothing makes sense probably, and you’re overwhelmed emotionally and drained at the same time. I understand and I’m sorry this is your experience right now 
1 Like
Such thoughtful words in that first reply. Thank you from me as well. I’m also really struggling after losing my dad two months ago. As you say, life has gone back to normal, but the grief has suddenly hit me like a sledgehammer - probably because dad was such a big part of my ‘normal’. Most of the time there was just the two of us, as I worked part-time to allow me to look after him. We had already lost my brother a long time ago and my mum more recently. Basically I miss him and it really hurts. There’s a horrible sense of failure too, that I should have tried harder somehow to keep him alive because he wanted to live so badly, even though I know in my heart I did everything I could. Your brain becomes a spaghetti junction of thoughts and memories, good and bad. Hopefully in time, everything will settle and only the good memories will remain. Good luck to both of you. Sending love.