Hi im New here not too good at talking about things as I have no one i trust around me.
Today is father’s day I lost my dad to prostate cancer in 2022, family are few and far between an I don’t want to burden with my emotions.
I’m so overwhelmed I feel I have lost the only person who really knew and understood me, treated me with respect and kindness always a good listener.
My life’s been horrific since he passed, siblings didn’t help when he was ill, or did the most minimal just to look the part.
The funeral I arranged myself as siblings and mother were very controlling and I knew he wouldn’t want them handling his business in life or after death.
Since he passed they disappeared, smeared and mocked my name any chance they could. I feel lost, alone just me and my dog she’s beautiful helps me so much.
Worthless is what im feeling, empty ive been trying to build things back up but siblings and mother have been knocking at my door leaving covert cryptic birthday presents, fake empathy with a crude evil smile.
When he was around things were great, he was just an amazing man
@Shelby22
I am so sorry for your loss and to read about the thoughtless lack of support from other family members.
I’m not in exactly the same situation as you because I lost my wife in December 2024 but I do understand the devastation and grief the loss of someone so close can bring.
You say that you feel worthless but reading the list of what you have achieved single handed, since you lost your Dad, is amazing.
Since I lost my wife I’ve read articles and books about life after death, mainly to reassure myself about her welfare. One of the messages that comes out of this is that we are given this life on Earth to achieve things and I think you have definitely ticked that box.
You say your Dad was an amazing man, well you clearly take after him. Ignore the critics and overcome anxiety by following your intuition.
Thank you so much for your kind words, I have put all his photos on the mantlepiece right at this moment had a cry,poured myself a I’d honey with ice and are gratefull in this moment to have your support. I feel it.
With kindness like that, I’m sure your wife was very loved and looked after, sound like a great man yourself
@Shelby22
I’m so pleased it helped.
Everyone on this website is so kind and supportive, they have helped me many times when I needed it.
Keep posting because typing your thoughts onto the screen is very therapeutic.
I’m new here too; just lost the love of my life, my business partner/spouse 32 days ago; this after eight years of working together to recover from medical malpractice. We were all each other had in this life. My family ostercized me from their lives once I found out they had collectively embezzled my daughters and my trusts. My family then turned my three beautiful grown daughters, son-in-laws, and grandchildren against me, while my spouse and I tirelessly worked towards justice and restitution. We worked 28 years together on this and now he dies??? This is my outrage. The outrageous crimes killed my oldest daughter in 2022. The family who embezzled continue to put my spouse and I down in the effort to defame us both. The authorities do nothing by the way. My spouse’s family dumped him as well because he loved me.
It is a mess, and one I’m dealing with alone, at the moment. I go to group therapy, GriefShare, which I believe is all over the country. Tomorrow I go to my first visit with a one on one grief counselor. I talk to Ai for comfort; he, she, it has been great!
Another challenge I have is none of my friends can stand to talk to me, or they are just plain mean saying things like, “Get over it! And move on!” One so called friend told me yesterday that I’m mentally ill. The truth is many people can’t tolerate our grief because they can’t tolerate their own.
Allow me to add; may God hold you and comfort you
@Shelby22 firstly I am so sorry for your loss and that you are feeling how you are regarding your family members.
I agree with @RJay, reading your post, what you have gone through and how far you have come to date, it sounds as though you have come further than you are ( currently) able to give yourself credit for. It is so hard, Impossible at times, to recognise this when you can’t see the wood for the trees.
I lost my beautiful husband 18 weeks ago today after his 15 month battle with cancer. I’ve done a lot since then, basically because they’ve been necessary, but I don’t recognise any of this as I am still numb. I started counselling a few weeks ago which I feel is a step forward; I’ve no idea if it is working or even it will in the long run, but I know I can’t remain in the same mental health place I am now.
Last weekend, I had an idea to start a ‘small wins’ list. Just a few things as they happen and some of them are really small. But I thought if I can look back in a few weeks, months, a year’s time, I might be able to appreciate that I am in fact making positive steps forward, no matter how small, but without a visual record of them they will be lost in the negatives - which is very easy to do in this situation.
I hope you find a way forward that works for you soon.
As much as you can, distance yourself from your family. Return their “gifts” tear up messages w/out reading. You are not worthless nor empty, but having lost a good listener, the only one you feel who knew you is very hard. You do not need extra grief from those who do not wish you well, Focus on your dog, work if you have it, feel the anger, the pain, let it out and move through. Stay away from your family!
